Is there anything more pitiful than a sick man? Well yes apparently, me with a hangover...!
This morning whilst my husband was coughing, sneezing and spluttering away with a genuine cold/flu I was the one lying there whimpering with an epic hangover demanding sympathy and trying to convince him that I'm actually ill! To be fair, I had a point... I had a headache and I felt sick which are symptoms of illness, albeit self inflicted illness! Of course these rules don't apply if he's got the hangover, that would just be ridiculous...!
I have however thankfully discovered the cure to that horrible taste you have in the back of your throat when hungover. Over the years I have brushed my teeth to within an inch of their life, gargled listerine and even once tried gargling with tcp and none of it worked. It still tasted like I'd eaten a half decomposed badger! But finally I accidentally found the answer, ice lollies! I know, it sounds stupid but if you think about it it's the perfect solution! They hydrate you, they are nice and cold and the acid in them strips aaaaall other tastes out of your mouth, they're just the thing to sort you out. Well sort your mouth out anyway...!
At that point there really is only one thing for it, nick the husband's prescription painkillers and curl up in a miserable ball on the sofa in my dressing gown and wait it out. And can you believe I've not had one ounce of sympathy yet?! I mean really!!!
Saturday, 14 May 2011
Thursday, 12 May 2011
A Little Bit of a Plea?
Hello lovely readers! I'm afraid I need to ask you for a favour, but I also have some news for you. Blogger.com has now added the ability to follow blogs by email, and I've added the button on the right of the screen for anyone who wants it!
Now the shameless request. I really love writing this, and I love knowing so many of my friends are finding the sharing my thoughts on the interwebz amusing. But I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to spare me a moment of your Facebooking, Twittering or whatevering time and post the link to this page?
No pressure, but it would be pretty cool, much love regardless, sarcasm to resume now! x
Now the shameless request. I really love writing this, and I love knowing so many of my friends are finding the sharing my thoughts on the interwebz amusing. But I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to spare me a moment of your Facebooking, Twittering or whatevering time and post the link to this page?
No pressure, but it would be pretty cool, much love regardless, sarcasm to resume now! x
Friday, 6 May 2011
Techno Over Reliance
The technological era is an amazing thing, and the world is ever smaller given the means now at our disposal to contact each other right the way across the planet. Letter writing is a lost art form, having been usurped by email; and now no one needs to make a phone call either thanks to the invention of text.
For starters the grammatical ability of future generations is going to go right down the pan thanks to the invention of the ultimate communicative laziness which is "text speak". I regularly have to send texts back to people asking them to translate because I have absolutely no idea what they've just "said" to me, whilst I on the other hand have the gentle mocking from my friends because apparently I text exactly how I speak, plus I'm a freak for grammar and punctuation. Nothing wrong with that!
Anyway, I think we as a population have now reached the point in over reliance on the technology available to us. When was the last time you got up from your desk at work to walk over to another person's desk to have the necessary conversation. I myself manage to have long (and comical) exchanges with the person two desks away from me, all using the medium of instant messaging... The most actual personal contact involved is when one of us sends the word "coffee" to the other and at that point we might actually disengage from the flashing screen in front of us and interact with the real world.
Emails now rule the offices of the world, both internally and externally. It is rare now to phone someone to query a situation, when typing up a quick email and hitting the send button makes it so much easier. In some instances I think it's true that it's a better idea, for example I need to interact with people within my company but with a time difference that makes phone contact difficult if not impossible. The problem now is the technology of email removes us slightly from the situations we find ourselves in, to the point that some find the need to copy every single person under the sun onto each one of their emails and we can distance ourselves from the recipients enough that a "pass the buck" attitude is easily cultivated. After all, a complaining or whinging email is just that thing we typed, the receiver is just a name in an address book, they're not really real!
I wonder what would have happened if the predicted Y2K bug had really happened. If all the technological systems of the world had one hell of a hissy fit and died. Have we become so reliant on them that we would struggle to function or would we adapt? Going back to simpler times appeals to some, though I'm not too keen on returning to the caveman dating attitude as I've never really enjoyed being clubbed unconscious by some neanderthal after a bit of fun, and living just on the outskirts of London with or without the tech I've witnessed enough of that going on!
Imagine going without your computer for one day, just one, oh hold on a second without that computer how are you going to read my inspired words of wisdom...?! Hmmm, techno withdrawal fail...
For starters the grammatical ability of future generations is going to go right down the pan thanks to the invention of the ultimate communicative laziness which is "text speak". I regularly have to send texts back to people asking them to translate because I have absolutely no idea what they've just "said" to me, whilst I on the other hand have the gentle mocking from my friends because apparently I text exactly how I speak, plus I'm a freak for grammar and punctuation. Nothing wrong with that!
Anyway, I think we as a population have now reached the point in over reliance on the technology available to us. When was the last time you got up from your desk at work to walk over to another person's desk to have the necessary conversation. I myself manage to have long (and comical) exchanges with the person two desks away from me, all using the medium of instant messaging... The most actual personal contact involved is when one of us sends the word "coffee" to the other and at that point we might actually disengage from the flashing screen in front of us and interact with the real world.
Emails now rule the offices of the world, both internally and externally. It is rare now to phone someone to query a situation, when typing up a quick email and hitting the send button makes it so much easier. In some instances I think it's true that it's a better idea, for example I need to interact with people within my company but with a time difference that makes phone contact difficult if not impossible. The problem now is the technology of email removes us slightly from the situations we find ourselves in, to the point that some find the need to copy every single person under the sun onto each one of their emails and we can distance ourselves from the recipients enough that a "pass the buck" attitude is easily cultivated. After all, a complaining or whinging email is just that thing we typed, the receiver is just a name in an address book, they're not really real!
I wonder what would have happened if the predicted Y2K bug had really happened. If all the technological systems of the world had one hell of a hissy fit and died. Have we become so reliant on them that we would struggle to function or would we adapt? Going back to simpler times appeals to some, though I'm not too keen on returning to the caveman dating attitude as I've never really enjoyed being clubbed unconscious by some neanderthal after a bit of fun, and living just on the outskirts of London with or without the tech I've witnessed enough of that going on!
Imagine going without your computer for one day, just one, oh hold on a second without that computer how are you going to read my inspired words of wisdom...?! Hmmm, techno withdrawal fail...
Thursday, 5 May 2011
The Expected Unexpected
Tube strike, the two most dreaded words to the London commuter. And it is expected but still manages to catch you out and be unexpected at the same time. And boy does it screw with your life! Starting from the 16th of May there will be TWO WEEKS of tube strikes over two dismissed drivers. Now, the reported reasons for these sackings were as follows.
- The first driver was sacked for overriding the safety protocols and driving with "disregard for established procedures"
- The second driver was apparently abusive towards his co-workers.
I have very little time for striking tube drivers at the best of time. They get paid very very well for what they do, they get free travel and apparently excellent additional benefits. So when they decide to get their collective panties in a wad over a sacking, that if true was gross misconduct, I really don't care much about their feelings. IF the sackings were unfair dismissal as is being claimed then how about you wait until the court proceedings are complete before throwing in towels and refusing to work. If I refused to turn up to work because a friend of mine was fired, I'd be reprimanded and then likely fired, so why is it different for them?!
The effect this is going to have on already provenly grumpy commuters is making us even worse to be around, so nobody benefits from that! I either have to cram onto a hideously overcrowded bus (not. frickin. happening!) to make my way round a convoluted route to my office, or give up and go home to sign in from there. And to be honest working from home sounds like a blast, but it's not, but that's for another post.
They're trying to hit the company in the pocket, I get that's the plan, but it's not working. The people they're hitting are the regular commuters, the ones of us who've paid out for weekly, monthly, or annual travelcards so if they still want to try and salvage ANY sort of sympathy they seriously need to rethink. Amateur Transplants hit the nail on the head when they sang about them, and as someone pointed out recently, if they want to hit profits whilst keeping people on side then just leave the barriers open so no one gets charged... It's a pretty good idea to be fair, and yeah then I would actually have no problem with them getting on with it.
Or, even better, the RMT can start refunding me for every day of travel I can't actually use the ticket I've paid for. I prefer that actually, show me the money...!!
- The first driver was sacked for overriding the safety protocols and driving with "disregard for established procedures"
- The second driver was apparently abusive towards his co-workers.
I have very little time for striking tube drivers at the best of time. They get paid very very well for what they do, they get free travel and apparently excellent additional benefits. So when they decide to get their collective panties in a wad over a sacking, that if true was gross misconduct, I really don't care much about their feelings. IF the sackings were unfair dismissal as is being claimed then how about you wait until the court proceedings are complete before throwing in towels and refusing to work. If I refused to turn up to work because a friend of mine was fired, I'd be reprimanded and then likely fired, so why is it different for them?!
The effect this is going to have on already provenly grumpy commuters is making us even worse to be around, so nobody benefits from that! I either have to cram onto a hideously overcrowded bus (not. frickin. happening!) to make my way round a convoluted route to my office, or give up and go home to sign in from there. And to be honest working from home sounds like a blast, but it's not, but that's for another post.
They're trying to hit the company in the pocket, I get that's the plan, but it's not working. The people they're hitting are the regular commuters, the ones of us who've paid out for weekly, monthly, or annual travelcards so if they still want to try and salvage ANY sort of sympathy they seriously need to rethink. Amateur Transplants hit the nail on the head when they sang about them, and as someone pointed out recently, if they want to hit profits whilst keeping people on side then just leave the barriers open so no one gets charged... It's a pretty good idea to be fair, and yeah then I would actually have no problem with them getting on with it.
Or, even better, the RMT can start refunding me for every day of travel I can't actually use the ticket I've paid for. I prefer that actually, show me the money...!!
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Midnight and Beyond
Insomnia, it's a strange thing. It can be the worst thing in the world, I (or you) can end up sat awake all hours watching the hands click round the clock as time slowly treks it's way forward.
But you can also see it in a good light. It's a pretty regular thing for me that if I don't have work the next day then I can quite realistically still be sat awake at five in the morning on the internet, watching tv or having a drink. And as much as this isn't most people's ideal, to me it's perfect. There is something just perfect about that time of the morning, of going outside and there's total silence and everywhere is dark and people are asleep. It's peaceful, and it's relaxing and it's utterly beautiful. And the best bit about it? Is that it ends, every day, without fail. But also without fail is begins again the next night. If you need that peace or solitude you can find it, every night.
This may not be my usual acerbic sarcasm, but one thing about this world I've found over the years is when you find something that special, it's worth sharing.
But you can also see it in a good light. It's a pretty regular thing for me that if I don't have work the next day then I can quite realistically still be sat awake at five in the morning on the internet, watching tv or having a drink. And as much as this isn't most people's ideal, to me it's perfect. There is something just perfect about that time of the morning, of going outside and there's total silence and everywhere is dark and people are asleep. It's peaceful, and it's relaxing and it's utterly beautiful. And the best bit about it? Is that it ends, every day, without fail. But also without fail is begins again the next night. If you need that peace or solitude you can find it, every night.
This may not be my usual acerbic sarcasm, but one thing about this world I've found over the years is when you find something that special, it's worth sharing.
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Silence and Hazy Days
I personally am a big fan of "me time". I'm perfectly happy with just myself for company and I tend to grab the opportunity when it arises, it being a rare commodity these days. I spend it reading, or having a quiet drink pondering my own internal monologue and I really find it quite cathartic.
Today for example, peace reigns. Everyone is off elsewhere with their own errands or entertainment, so the garden has fallen into my solitary domain.
This is part of the reason I'm glad we don't live in London itself but rather skirt the boundaries happy to bask in it's nearby glow of bustle and life. Whilst we can drift the day away if we want to with just a little background noise occasionally bringing us back from our reverie.
There is part of me though that would dearly love to spend the day sat in the sun in one of the little parks in London with my nearest and dearest enjoying a drink and a picnic, though the hangover following the last of these types of days, although the day was totally worth it, does remind me that maybe having this option constantly available to me would not be hugely conducive to my continued existence with a functional liver...
And so I content myself with the beautiful day I have ahead of me basking in the sunshine and enjoying the quiet. Nothing ever lasts though of course, the boys will return and the silence will disperse, but I can always find it again. I hear the North Pole is nice this time of year...
Today for example, peace reigns. Everyone is off elsewhere with their own errands or entertainment, so the garden has fallen into my solitary domain.
This is part of the reason I'm glad we don't live in London itself but rather skirt the boundaries happy to bask in it's nearby glow of bustle and life. Whilst we can drift the day away if we want to with just a little background noise occasionally bringing us back from our reverie.
There is part of me though that would dearly love to spend the day sat in the sun in one of the little parks in London with my nearest and dearest enjoying a drink and a picnic, though the hangover following the last of these types of days, although the day was totally worth it, does remind me that maybe having this option constantly available to me would not be hugely conducive to my continued existence with a functional liver...
And so I content myself with the beautiful day I have ahead of me basking in the sunshine and enjoying the quiet. Nothing ever lasts though of course, the boys will return and the silence will disperse, but I can always find it again. I hear the North Pole is nice this time of year...
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Childhood Memory, Or Rather No Memory
I have one older brother, he's four years older than me and he's a musician. He's also the best man I have ever known, and I would say we are very close. We don't talk every day, sometimes not for months, but we don't need to because we know the other would be there in a heartbeat if we needed them. But, we've not always been so close...
When we were kids we fought like crazy, and not just the usual bickering but proper fighting! I think we were at our worst when I was about eight or nine, and he would've then been twelve or thirteen. But even with the fighting I had a major case of hero worship when it came to him and I'd follow him everywhere... So basically I'm not surprised we fought so much, because having your baby sister trying to tag along all the time must have been horrendous!
I remember him once locking me on the balcony that joined our bedrooms. It was cold, I wasn't wearing enough clothes and my futile protestations that the only reason I wanted to come inside was to get my guitar (yep I really thought he'd fall for that) somehow fell on deaf ears. No idea how I managed to get back inside but my guess would be our mum caught us and he was forced somewhat grumpily to open the door!
Anyway, my brother came to stay with us over the Christmas holidays and we started talking about the past and a lot of these memories of our childhood came up, it was really nice actually and I think one hell of a learning experience for my husband!
I was laughing away reminiscing until I heard this -
"What about the time I threw a dart into your knee?! ha ha ha!"
Um sorry, what? Rewind! What the hell?! I have no memory of this at all, nothing whatsoever! Apparently I was doing the usual annoying little sister routine and had followed him and one of his friends into his bedroom where they decided to play with the dartboard. As I was undoubtedly being annoying my brother proceeded to sling a dart in my general direction, I think to scare me into shoving off and leaving him in peace so not to actually hurt me. Anyway this dart headed straight for my knee and sunk in, and sat there... His first reaction? Well the same as any kid's would be I think, FFS DON'T TELL MUM!!!! Granted I think he just didn't want to lose his dartboard!
Don't think I cried, definitely didn't tell my mum cos his dartboard remained where it was but I just find it incredibly bizarre that I don't remember it at all, not even a flicker of recognition. But I think we may have solved the riddle of why I'm so scared of needles...
When we were kids we fought like crazy, and not just the usual bickering but proper fighting! I think we were at our worst when I was about eight or nine, and he would've then been twelve or thirteen. But even with the fighting I had a major case of hero worship when it came to him and I'd follow him everywhere... So basically I'm not surprised we fought so much, because having your baby sister trying to tag along all the time must have been horrendous!
I remember him once locking me on the balcony that joined our bedrooms. It was cold, I wasn't wearing enough clothes and my futile protestations that the only reason I wanted to come inside was to get my guitar (yep I really thought he'd fall for that) somehow fell on deaf ears. No idea how I managed to get back inside but my guess would be our mum caught us and he was forced somewhat grumpily to open the door!
Anyway, my brother came to stay with us over the Christmas holidays and we started talking about the past and a lot of these memories of our childhood came up, it was really nice actually and I think one hell of a learning experience for my husband!
I was laughing away reminiscing until I heard this -
"What about the time I threw a dart into your knee?! ha ha ha!"
Um sorry, what? Rewind! What the hell?! I have no memory of this at all, nothing whatsoever! Apparently I was doing the usual annoying little sister routine and had followed him and one of his friends into his bedroom where they decided to play with the dartboard. As I was undoubtedly being annoying my brother proceeded to sling a dart in my general direction, I think to scare me into shoving off and leaving him in peace so not to actually hurt me. Anyway this dart headed straight for my knee and sunk in, and sat there... His first reaction? Well the same as any kid's would be I think, FFS DON'T TELL MUM!!!! Granted I think he just didn't want to lose his dartboard!
Don't think I cried, definitely didn't tell my mum cos his dartboard remained where it was but I just find it incredibly bizarre that I don't remember it at all, not even a flicker of recognition. But I think we may have solved the riddle of why I'm so scared of needles...
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