Have you ever noticed that things that don't phase you when you're doing a job still reach the list of "Things I Don't Miss" once you leave it? I've given up the second job now so no more bar work. I do miss it although there are certain instances I really don't miss dealing with. And here's some of the particular events that make this list!
I don't miss dealing with people when they are officially "fall down" drunk. We had a lady come in once, about forties or so and from Thailand I believe. She was sculling Fosters like it was going out of fashion and was getting a bit (massively) trashed, so we decided to stop serving her.
She then vanished into the ladies toilet and was gone for a good fifteen minutes. Finally we went for the age old technique of rock, paper, scissors and I lost so I had to go looking. No amount of banging on the door or shouting was getting a response which really only left me with one course of action - get out a coin to jimmy the lock and go in anyway. Now this sounds bad, but bear in mind for all I know she's had a heart attack so I got the coin out and unlocked the door, which proceeded to still not budge.
After a fair bit of hefty pushing, and a large amount of swearing, I finally worked out I couldn't get it open properly because she had actually passed out across the door... with her pants still down... mid ablution... Oh wonderful!
I eventually got the door open enough to get inside and by getting my arms under hers I just about got her on her feet and got her pants up, whilst straddling my legs wide, in case she hadn't finished peeing.
We got rid of her in the end, and she got safely home, but I do not miss forcing a toilet door to be confronted by a naked forty year old woman's arse lying in her own urine.
I don't miss idiots at the end of last orders convinced they get special treatment and that the staff getting louder and louder about everyone leaving aren't actually referring to them.
One guy in particular, who I doubt will ever read this, was awful for it. His girlfriend worked behind the bar so he figured that translated to "you can stay here drinking all night long if you like"... Um, no dude.
Normally the conversation went like this -
Me - Time to drink up ladies and gents.
Idiot Boy - I haven't finished.
Me - Well finish up or it's going down the drain.
Him - What's your problem? I'm waiting for my girlfriend!
Me - Not a problem but I still need the beer gone, we want to close up and go home.
Him - Why are you in such a rush?
Me - I've been up since half six, commuted three hours and just finished my second job. It's gone half one in the morning and I want to go home.
Him - Stop complaining, I've been here all night too!!
*sigh* Explaining to a drunk moron that spending all night drinking doesn't compare with spending all night serving people drinks is a waste of time so I stopped bothering after a while. The night usually ended with me binning his drink and him throwing a temper tantrum.
Dating one of the bar staff doesn't mean you can act like an asshole, it just means your significant other gives you a bollocking about it if you do when you get home!
I do not miss self important twats.
I don't miss people assuming I'm unintelligent because I do bar work. Yes I'm blonde, yes I work (at the time) behind a bar, no I'm not an idiot. People often come to the wrong conclusion about us, the only thing that makes us idiots is putting up with the crap we sometimes get!
The following is my favourite ever example.
Couple arguing about the currency of Turkey at the end of the bar, this had been going on for some time.
Me - Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt but it's Turkish Lira.
Him - What?
Me - She's right, it's Turkish Lira, not Euros.
Him - Well what the hell would you know?!
Me - I beg your pardon?
Him - You're a blonde barmaid who's obviously never been out of this town in her life and you're lecturing ME on currency?
Me - Yes of course sir, you're right. The fact that I'm a (part) qualified accountant who does a second job behind a bar is neither here not there. Neither is the fact that I've lived in three countries in my life so far, one of them being Turkey... So how could I possibly know anything about it? I'll leave you to your conversation but I would suggest in parting that you don't invest in the foreign exchange market, seeing as it would appear your understanding of currency is somewhat lacking..."
Him - ....
Her - *giggle*
It's not as easy a job as everyone thinks, give us some credit.
I do not miss obnoxious people who, often incorrectly, assume their greater intelligence due to the location we're stood in a drinking establishment.
I miss a lot about it, but there are certainly things I just do not miss. But on the plus side those things give me posts like these! ;)
