There's a new campaign I've seen started, which crops up every once in a while, to try and convince people to not buy petrol on the 1st of April this year. This is intended to make a point about fuel prices being so high and to try and convince a price drop to happen.
Petrol is at an all time high, and I do think that needs to be lowered and controlled, but I can't give this campaign my support.
The reason for this is simple. As it stands right now £0.59 on every litre of petrol is taxation. And according to petrolprices.com the current prices are between £1.269 and £1.469 per litre. So this is anywhere from forty to forty six and a half percent of tax on each litre you buy!!!
So, this is my point, what is the benefit of boycotting petrol stations when it's the insane amount of tax on petrol which is making the price quite so ludicrous? If change is to happen it'll have to come from the government in the form of tax drops and/or the petrol price stabiliser which has been discussed. But then how will the MPs afford their second homes? So I don't think I'm going to hold my breath!
Though boycotting the pumps will have one effect that is undeniable, even for me. Your car won't run without petrol, guess we're all walking to work today?
Wednesday 23 March 2011
Sunday 20 March 2011
Funny Advertising Space...?
There are two routes through to the London Underground when you get off an overground train at Waterloo. Either you can head for the main concourse and make your way down the escalators or you can make your way down the stairs off the platform and into the tunnel below.
If you go down the platform stairs you are confronted currently by a huge advertising campaign for the new BMW 6 series, it stretches the width of about six or seven platforms.
Now I can understand the logic of using that space for a large ad campaign. It's a massive blank canvas, millions of people pass by it so it's great exposure and it's never been used before so everyone who walks past will definitely notice the colourful change which has materialised.
But, and in my book it's a pretty big but, I think they've made somewhat of an error in judgement. The stairs down from the platforms are locked outside of commuter times, so the only people who will see that advert are commuters. Sound okay so far? London commuters as a rule commute by London Transport Services, agreed? Sooooo, that means trains, tubes, buses and walking. As far as I can tell, that doesn't include cars... And those that DO use cars won't be walking through the commuter section of Waterloo. So who the hell are they aiming these ads at?!
You could argue it's weekend drivers, but why would weekend drivers want a six series BMW...? They're not exactly "runarounds", they're just really not weekend cars.
Maybe I'm being unfair, but I'm just thinking maybe, just maybe, the amount of money sunk into that particular campaign was not the best they've ever spent...?
If you go down the platform stairs you are confronted currently by a huge advertising campaign for the new BMW 6 series, it stretches the width of about six or seven platforms.
Now I can understand the logic of using that space for a large ad campaign. It's a massive blank canvas, millions of people pass by it so it's great exposure and it's never been used before so everyone who walks past will definitely notice the colourful change which has materialised.
But, and in my book it's a pretty big but, I think they've made somewhat of an error in judgement. The stairs down from the platforms are locked outside of commuter times, so the only people who will see that advert are commuters. Sound okay so far? London commuters as a rule commute by London Transport Services, agreed? Sooooo, that means trains, tubes, buses and walking. As far as I can tell, that doesn't include cars... And those that DO use cars won't be walking through the commuter section of Waterloo. So who the hell are they aiming these ads at?!
You could argue it's weekend drivers, but why would weekend drivers want a six series BMW...? They're not exactly "runarounds", they're just really not weekend cars.
Maybe I'm being unfair, but I'm just thinking maybe, just maybe, the amount of money sunk into that particular campaign was not the best they've ever spent...?
Saturday 19 March 2011
Something Just Doesn't Seem Realistic...
Something that always manages to get under my skin on the tube is people who quite obviously (to "regulars") don't regularly use the London underground system, and usually don't live in London but are determined to try and appear like they do this every day too.
The problem is this. London Commuters are generally quite a rude bunch, whether it be due to idiots annoying us or having done this so long we scowl when someone gets in our way. What I've noticed of the "fake commuters" is that they've clocked this fact and try to emulate what they've seen around them in order to appear at home in their surroundings. But, they pretty much all just end up going too far and come across as rude, even to us offensive lot!
There are some very simple unwritten rules and they are instinctively followed by those of us who daily brave the gaping maw of the underground tunnels.
You move down, you just do. There is often a distinct lack of space in the mornings and evenings and we all naturally move down into the aisles to provide as much space as usual. We may whinge or scowl but it always happens. Those less wise in the ways of the underground don't budge an inch. They figure Londoners are rude and therefore would never possibly move to make life easier on someone else. In other words, spot the imitator who's never been faced with a full tube train whilst running to catch an overground...
That announcement about letting customers off the train first? Yeah we actually do pay attention to that. It may seem that we're all plugged into our headphones or busy with our papers but it's like subliminal learning, we're taking it all in. So one of the easiest ways to show lack of experience in our domain is to push past those disembarking in order to get a seat first. And for the record those if you who do that are rude and offensive and in short jackasses...!
If you are walking or jogging up an escalator and there's no one ahead of you, move to the damn right?! I know the left is the "moving" side but when no one is in front moving to the right allows faster movers behind to get past you. It's kinda like sitting in the fast lane of the M25 doing fifty miles an hour when the motorway is empty, might make you feel fast but you just look like a dick!
On overground commuter trains there are "Quiet Carriages". These aren't there for amusement or decoration but rather because some of us prefer to be able to relax in peace on our way home. Feel free to listen to your iPod, but keep it to a volume we can't hear, feel free to have a chat, but recognise you're only three inches apart thanks to the overcrowding and you don't need to reach the dizzying height of the top of the decibels register! At least 95% of us have sat in here on purpose, if you want to look like you belong turn your damn music down, hang your bloody mobile up and show a little respect!
So it's simple people. For anyone who has this bizarre desire to come across as a regular user of the London transport system, don't bother. It's pointless, it's obvious and you make yourself look pretty stupid...!
The problem is this. London Commuters are generally quite a rude bunch, whether it be due to idiots annoying us or having done this so long we scowl when someone gets in our way. What I've noticed of the "fake commuters" is that they've clocked this fact and try to emulate what they've seen around them in order to appear at home in their surroundings. But, they pretty much all just end up going too far and come across as rude, even to us offensive lot!
There are some very simple unwritten rules and they are instinctively followed by those of us who daily brave the gaping maw of the underground tunnels.
You move down, you just do. There is often a distinct lack of space in the mornings and evenings and we all naturally move down into the aisles to provide as much space as usual. We may whinge or scowl but it always happens. Those less wise in the ways of the underground don't budge an inch. They figure Londoners are rude and therefore would never possibly move to make life easier on someone else. In other words, spot the imitator who's never been faced with a full tube train whilst running to catch an overground...
That announcement about letting customers off the train first? Yeah we actually do pay attention to that. It may seem that we're all plugged into our headphones or busy with our papers but it's like subliminal learning, we're taking it all in. So one of the easiest ways to show lack of experience in our domain is to push past those disembarking in order to get a seat first. And for the record those if you who do that are rude and offensive and in short jackasses...!
If you are walking or jogging up an escalator and there's no one ahead of you, move to the damn right?! I know the left is the "moving" side but when no one is in front moving to the right allows faster movers behind to get past you. It's kinda like sitting in the fast lane of the M25 doing fifty miles an hour when the motorway is empty, might make you feel fast but you just look like a dick!
On overground commuter trains there are "Quiet Carriages". These aren't there for amusement or decoration but rather because some of us prefer to be able to relax in peace on our way home. Feel free to listen to your iPod, but keep it to a volume we can't hear, feel free to have a chat, but recognise you're only three inches apart thanks to the overcrowding and you don't need to reach the dizzying height of the top of the decibels register! At least 95% of us have sat in here on purpose, if you want to look like you belong turn your damn music down, hang your bloody mobile up and show a little respect!
So it's simple people. For anyone who has this bizarre desire to come across as a regular user of the London transport system, don't bother. It's pointless, it's obvious and you make yourself look pretty stupid...!
Saturday 12 March 2011
The Unavoidable Dreaded Thirties
When I turned eighteen I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and I had a pretty heavy duty drinking session.
Then I turned twenty one and I realised I'd been wrong three years before, and actually THAT was the coolest thing ever. So I threw a big party and had a heavy duty drinking session. Can you see a pattern in my birthday celebrations yet...?
As the years progressed and I got older I revelled in my twenties. I made great friends, had great times, had a few "interesting" relationships and made some fantastic memories. But as my twenties slowly marched their way along I started to realise that my thirties were fast approaching and it wasn't a realisation that I enjoyed coming to...
The worry started to set in a little bit, to the point that on the day of my wedding I was incredibly happy that I would forever be able to say that I got married in my twenties. I don't know why, but that mattered to me. I found myself returning to the days of Adrian Mole and when it came to consideration of my age throughout my twenty ninth year I suddenly listed myself as twenty nine and a half, or twenty nine and three quarters, that sort of thing...! Sad but true!
My thirtieth birthday itself fell on a Tuesday night rather annoyingly. So I did what any self respecting person clinging to their twenties would do, I booked the Tuesday and Wednesday off work and made plans to (can you guess?) have a heavy duty drinking session!
On the day itself I refused point blank to admit my accension into my thirties until exactly twenty five minutes past five that afternoon. After all as this was the time at which I was born into this world, up to that time on my birthday I was still "technically" in my twenties...! Thankfully when the dreaded time finally arrived I was sat in a pub with some lovely friends ensuring a steady supply of red wine. Though at exactly twenty five past five I was handed a gin and tonic, as I had to change drink to mark the point apparently... All good in my book, and the support (read mild mockery) of the friends with me was hugely appreciated so thank you guys!
As my birthday fell midweek the birthday "party" itself was planned for the following Saturday, and I figured this was a good thing as it'd give me some time to adjust to my new status of being in my thirties. Of course the wonderful people I have in my life had some lovely words of wisdom for me.
"Wow, you're like, old now!"
"It won't hit you until you fill in a questionaire and you have to tick the 30-35 box..."
"Soooo, now your thirty and married it'll be kids next then?"
"Thirties, yeah I remember turning thirty, it's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall downhill from now on!"
I love my friends and family...
To sum up my birthday party let's just say champagne, great food, plenty of friends and jaeggertrains... So in other words it was fun!
So now the celebrations are all out of the way how do I feel about entering this new phase of my life? Well, I'm happily married with a good job and great friends, and plenty of people would kill to have that at my age or older so in that sense it's all good. But still, there is that sense of "oh good god, WHY?!"
I'm sure I'll adjust and get used to it, but I get the horrible feeling that it'll happen roughly when I'm thirty nine and nine tenths, just in time for the next freak out...
Then I turned twenty one and I realised I'd been wrong three years before, and actually THAT was the coolest thing ever. So I threw a big party and had a heavy duty drinking session. Can you see a pattern in my birthday celebrations yet...?
As the years progressed and I got older I revelled in my twenties. I made great friends, had great times, had a few "interesting" relationships and made some fantastic memories. But as my twenties slowly marched their way along I started to realise that my thirties were fast approaching and it wasn't a realisation that I enjoyed coming to...
The worry started to set in a little bit, to the point that on the day of my wedding I was incredibly happy that I would forever be able to say that I got married in my twenties. I don't know why, but that mattered to me. I found myself returning to the days of Adrian Mole and when it came to consideration of my age throughout my twenty ninth year I suddenly listed myself as twenty nine and a half, or twenty nine and three quarters, that sort of thing...! Sad but true!
My thirtieth birthday itself fell on a Tuesday night rather annoyingly. So I did what any self respecting person clinging to their twenties would do, I booked the Tuesday and Wednesday off work and made plans to (can you guess?) have a heavy duty drinking session!
On the day itself I refused point blank to admit my accension into my thirties until exactly twenty five minutes past five that afternoon. After all as this was the time at which I was born into this world, up to that time on my birthday I was still "technically" in my twenties...! Thankfully when the dreaded time finally arrived I was sat in a pub with some lovely friends ensuring a steady supply of red wine. Though at exactly twenty five past five I was handed a gin and tonic, as I had to change drink to mark the point apparently... All good in my book, and the support (read mild mockery) of the friends with me was hugely appreciated so thank you guys!
As my birthday fell midweek the birthday "party" itself was planned for the following Saturday, and I figured this was a good thing as it'd give me some time to adjust to my new status of being in my thirties. Of course the wonderful people I have in my life had some lovely words of wisdom for me.
"Wow, you're like, old now!"
"It won't hit you until you fill in a questionaire and you have to tick the 30-35 box..."
"Soooo, now your thirty and married it'll be kids next then?"
"Thirties, yeah I remember turning thirty, it's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall downhill from now on!"
I love my friends and family...
To sum up my birthday party let's just say champagne, great food, plenty of friends and jaeggertrains... So in other words it was fun!
So now the celebrations are all out of the way how do I feel about entering this new phase of my life? Well, I'm happily married with a good job and great friends, and plenty of people would kill to have that at my age or older so in that sense it's all good. But still, there is that sense of "oh good god, WHY?!"
I'm sure I'll adjust and get used to it, but I get the horrible feeling that it'll happen roughly when I'm thirty nine and nine tenths, just in time for the next freak out...
Public Or Private
For the last few years I have gone back to working in London and therefore have been engaging in the fun and excitement that is the public transport system. And yes it has provided me with many mornings and evenings of frustration, amusement and sometimes even total hilarity so it's all good. But in the past I did the prviate car commute from Surrey to Buckinghamshire so I did the daily slog up the M25 and M40 every day.
When I first decided to do this 70 mile round trip for work every day I saw a piece of grafitti by the side of the road on the M40. It said "Why do I still do this every day?" At the time it made me laugh, it was a new experience to be doing that trek but I'll tell you what, by the time I made the decision to leave that job and make my way back onto the public transport network I found myself nodding every time I passed it.
But even that travel, which was exhausting to the extreme, had it's little highlights of daily amusement.
There was something terrifying and yet incredibly amusing about watching a woman putting on her lipstick, whilst also balancing a coffee in the other hand and travelling down a hectic M25 fast line at around seventy miles per hour. Strangely enough I found myself at the time thinking that putting on your lipstick and drinking coffee was inherently pointless as half the lipstick would surely come off on the cup...?
It's also the only place I ever found myself watching a man juggling a mobile phone and a bunch of paperwork and driving his car all at the same time. Important meeting or just raging moron, you decide....
The decisions people make in their cars are funnier in essence, as the car grants people the fake anonymity of the belief that no one can see what they are doing. People are inside their own space when driving, and it's so easy to forget that the "outside world" can view your every action. However the dumb things people do whilst driving are also scarier as they can actually have an impact. I'm fairly sure that juggling paperwork, coffee, mobile and makeup on the train to Waterloo is pretty much never going to cause said train to go off the rails...
Still there is a wonderful fascination of watching people in cars, safe in their little bubbles and totally unaware of the scrutiny that they may well be under. I'm fairly sure the lady in the back seat of a car on the M25 one morning would have altered her decision to get undressed and changed on the move if she had taken a moments pause and considered the display that she was putting on for the other commuters on the road that day... Although you never know, maybe some people are just exhibitionists like that...
When I first decided to do this 70 mile round trip for work every day I saw a piece of grafitti by the side of the road on the M40. It said "Why do I still do this every day?" At the time it made me laugh, it was a new experience to be doing that trek but I'll tell you what, by the time I made the decision to leave that job and make my way back onto the public transport network I found myself nodding every time I passed it.
But even that travel, which was exhausting to the extreme, had it's little highlights of daily amusement.
There was something terrifying and yet incredibly amusing about watching a woman putting on her lipstick, whilst also balancing a coffee in the other hand and travelling down a hectic M25 fast line at around seventy miles per hour. Strangely enough I found myself at the time thinking that putting on your lipstick and drinking coffee was inherently pointless as half the lipstick would surely come off on the cup...?
It's also the only place I ever found myself watching a man juggling a mobile phone and a bunch of paperwork and driving his car all at the same time. Important meeting or just raging moron, you decide....
The decisions people make in their cars are funnier in essence, as the car grants people the fake anonymity of the belief that no one can see what they are doing. People are inside their own space when driving, and it's so easy to forget that the "outside world" can view your every action. However the dumb things people do whilst driving are also scarier as they can actually have an impact. I'm fairly sure that juggling paperwork, coffee, mobile and makeup on the train to Waterloo is pretty much never going to cause said train to go off the rails...
Still there is a wonderful fascination of watching people in cars, safe in their little bubbles and totally unaware of the scrutiny that they may well be under. I'm fairly sure the lady in the back seat of a car on the M25 one morning would have altered her decision to get undressed and changed on the move if she had taken a moments pause and considered the display that she was putting on for the other commuters on the road that day... Although you never know, maybe some people are just exhibitionists like that...
Tuesday 8 March 2011
World Domination
Well I’ve now been reliably informed that this little blog is being read globally. I’ve managed to make it from London to the frozen wastes of Glasgow, on to Berlin and it's sausages and even as far as Texas where apparently it's been shot... And it’s a bit of a strange thought that people so far away are reading my musings, especially as a large proportion of it relates to the delights of the London commute and I’m never sure if other countries compare particularly well or if certain aspects of it are lost in translation.
It’s only a matter of time now before I dominate the entire globe, bwaaahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!
Slightly more seriously though, thank you all for sticking with me and continuing to read my offerings to the blogiverse. May I continue to make you laugh for the foreseeable future!
Monday 7 March 2011
Crustaceous Exercisers
There are several colleagues of mine who are determined to fit in their daily exercise session and tend to do this at lunchtime. Some go running and some head to the gym. When I used to smoke I think I noticed them more as they invariably headed out on their quest for healthiness at pretty much exactly the same time I went outside to engage in my most unhealthy habit…
To be fair I’d love to be able to be that dedicated, but I’m just not. I already walk three miles a day as part of my commute, the last thing I need is to be pounding the London streets at lunchtime whilst turning a brighter and brighter shade of red. Although I’m sure it would provide me with plenty of ammunition to share with you all.
Still, as much as I think it would be great to follow suit and head out at lunchtime, my decision not to is vindicated every single day when they return looking like a lobster that has overdosed on beetroot… Still to be fair they are very healthy beetroot loving lobsters!
Tuesday 1 March 2011
Typers, Texters and Tappers
A lot of people tend to be on some sort of electronic device on their journey into London. Personally I'm often on my phone these days, writing these little musings on the often idiotic nature of mankind. But my electronic habits have the plus side of being silent, if I want to listen to anything I have my headphones on and unlike a large proportion of the commuting population I actually understand that I don't need to musically rape my eardrums in order to enjoy my music, nor do I feel the need to impose my musical tastes on others. There are however also some far less vocally lacking electronical habits often on display.
The typers are the ones who the second they sit down on the train haul their laptops out of their bags and sit there typing away on some email, presentation or you never know, maybe they're blogging! Regardless of what opinions they are determined on capturing they all seem to be somewhat stressed as the keys all get one hell of a hammering! The sound of someone slowly trying to annihilate their portable computer is a low but steady drumbeat which goes from amusing to annoying to downright infuriating, but it's not exactly something you can request they cease, after all I doubt they're doing it on purpose.
The texters however do have a little more to answer for in my book. If you want to carry on a private texting conversation on your journey that is entirely your right, but please realise that until you turn your phone onto silent that little chime that let's you know someone wants to talk to you is actually, to the rest of us, a jarring regular removal of concentration from whatever we're entertaining ourselves with during this enforced period of boredom. To find out how annoying this is go home and set your oh so funny text tone of "la la la la la, I've got a teeeext" to go off every thirty seconds and see how long it takes for you to want to catapult your own mobile out of your living room window!
And then there's the tappers, those people who're doing something on their phone steadily for half an hour or so but haven't worked out (or don't want to work out) how to switch off their keyboard clicks so every push of a button is punctuated by a little clicking noise. The only clicking noise I find interesting is the noise made by dolphins trying to communicate, the noises you're making make me yearn for the day of non commuter friendly tuna...!
The Dreadful Case of The Sick Commuter
Commuting can be bad enough on a good day, although as I've shared even a bad day can provide a source of entertainment. No sign of the floor hogger lately by the way, maybe someone invented a train carriage with a trapdoor or even better an ejector seat!
Commuting when you're not feeling well however is utter hell. This morning for example I can't stop shivering, I've sneezed most of the way and I've got a delightful case of intermittent stomach pains. Now maybe it doesn't sound like the smartest plan in the world to be travelling to work at all but it being the time at work that it is my life would be made harder by not going in rather than easier! Though I will admit that my mornings writing is helping by taking my mind off it!
So far today I have been subjected to dirty looks, frowns, tutting and a cacophony of sighs all aimed in my direction. And I feel your pain, I genuinely do, as I know just how aggravating it can be to have someone sat displaying various ill symptoms while you're debating how likely you are to catch whatever strain of the bubonic plague your fellow commuter is obviously suffering from!
But, trust me on this, my discomfort is bothering me a hell of a lot more than it is you. Sneezing a lot is not my idea of fun, the stomach pains while doing wonders for my stomach muscles actually DO HURT, and I've been freezing since I woke up and no I don't need to "just put more clothes on" as I overheard one fellow commuter opine loudly for my benefit...
All in all it's not been the most pleasant trip to work, I doubt it'll be the best day and the route home, although a source of relief, probably won't be much fund either. But if I can look for the funny side of my somewhat less than stellar feeling today then I think others can too. Now cut it out with the judgemental stares or I'll sneeze in your direction...!
All in all it's not been the most pleasant trip to work, I doubt it'll be the best day and the route home, although a source of relief, probably won't be much fund either. But if I can look for the funny side of my somewhat less than stellar feeling today then I think others can too. Now cut it out with the judgemental stares or I'll sneeze in your direction...!
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