Complaints Letter

After my previous posting/rant at the delightful souls at Play.com a friend of mine very kindly drafted a letter of complaint for me. Now I don't think it's quite right for actually being sent but due to it being so funny that it reduced me to tears I thought I'd better share. Enjoy peeps and thanks Mr L!


To whom it may concern,

This is my order number: xxxxxxxxx. Please ensure this is written down correctly by your good selves, I would hate for it to be read incorrectly and for it to be confused with someone who actually RECIEVED their package!

Ok... lets begin. I am writing to you with regard to the above order that I placed some time in June. The service I have recieved to date is quite frankly appalling. I am more than happy to go through the list of events below. I trust you will stay awake during this as it is very important to me that it is read, digested, acted upon and not deleted. I would also like this letter to be read by those who can actually do something, not by some office person who is on work experience.

It all started one evening back on 30th June 2011 when I was browsing your site. I was elated to see you had (in stock I might add) a DVD of Series 5 of "Ghost Whisperer". I promptly entered my bank card details and placed my order. I was glad that my hard earned money was being spent on such a fantastic DVD and with free postage, I couldn't go wrong! ... hahahaha (oh sorry, excuse the sarcastic laughing, it is too early in the letter for that.)

On the 2nd July 2011, I recieved an email notification stating that my DVD had been posted. Not long now until I could sit down with my favourite bottle of wine ( I prefer a Pino Grigot whilst watching DVD's... it makes the whole experience that much more fulfilling). I was like a young girl at Christmas, waiting for the postperson to come and deliver the DVD to my workplace. Everytime I saw a Post Office van pull up, I was at the window... but alas... it wasn't to be ...

After 3 weeks of harrassing the postperson for my DVD, I resigned myself to the fact that it has got lost in the post. I decided to contact Play.com and find out where it had gone. The wine was still on ice. So, on the 29th July 2011, I contacted your company and I requested a from that I needed to complete. It was a generic reply that I got saying that you would post the forms to me. It wasn't very personal, it didn't offer apologies, it was just, well, an email. Anyway, I waited another few days for the form to arrive. I am sure you must have been busy sorting out the summer rush so I was extremely patient (although, that was wearing thin by now).

On the 5th August 2011, I sent you ANOTHER email saying that nothing had arrived. Still no DVD and now NO forms.... sigh, what is a girl to do....... I recieved an email back from that generic boring person saying that you are extremely busy and it make take up to 3 days to get back to me (surely you meant three weeks not days!?!)

I had by now, decided to drink the wine. This was the first of many I could have consumed whilst waiting for my DVD to arrive. I am not an alcoholic, but I enjoy a glass or two.

So ... the 9th August 2011 had arrived. I thought now I would take it to the next level and actually phone you. I know, it's a big step, but I am sure you were MORE than competent enough to deal with a phonecall.... hahaha (oh dear, there it goes again, that sarcastic laugh). Anyway, I was told that you would resend the forms.

On the 11th August 2011, I got the forms. Yes, I know, I can hear the applause as well. I promptly filled them in and sent them back on the same day. Something that is yet to reach Play.com.

The 16th August 2011 came and went, as did my postperson (still with no DVD...). So .. I emailed you yet again. I enquired as to where my replacement was. I got no answer. How rude I thought, as I opened another bottle of wine.

Can you see how I am getting fed up typing now as each event gets less and less.... I am getting bored, frustrated and slightly tipsy with all this damn wine I have been drinking. Anyway, I am going off track. Back to the epic story. (I am thinking of writing a book about my experiences. Although if you sell it for me, I doubt anyone would get a copy.

24th August 2011.... I phoned your good(!) selves again. I was told that you had got the completed forms and that it was being processed... YES!!! RESULT!!! I was finally getting somewhere.... The person I spoke to said that the replacements department were busy (why do I totally believe them!) and that there will be a delay blah blah blah usual rubbish. But hey, you had my forms, what could possibly go wrong!!!!!

Dear diary, it is now the 6th September 2011. Oh wait, no sorry, wrong story. I phoned you AGAIN asking where my DVD was. I had forgotten the title by now. I was told that the forms you sent were incorrectly completed and that there was a page missing. Errr NO! I filled in every page you sent. It was agin, YOUR error that you missed a page off. I spoke to a nice chap called James. He was ever so nice. Polite, sympathetic and he was more than willing to help.  I should have asked if he wanted to deliver it to me personally. As least it would have arrived with a smile! He sent me out some more forms to fill in.  I sent them back that same day. How efficient am I!!! You could do with having me in charge of your place, it would run like clockwork! I asked for confirmation that you recieved them.. and guess what!! (in a very excited voice) ... NOTHING. Not a reply, confirmation ... NOTHING. My inbox was empty. I was beginning to get a complex that you didn't like me. I also spent 30 mins on the phone talking to you lot.

It is now the 7th September 2011 and I called AGAIN to find out what was going on and to get a timeframe etc. Can you imagine my ANGER when you told me you no longer supplied the item, but I can get it from the buy/trade site for less money. You told me I can have a full refund ( but I bet that won't include a reimbursement for my phone bills, internet use and time wasted using these devices of communication). I was at work or I would have opened another bottle of wine.

I asked for an address where I can write to and complain. I was told you don't have one! Do you all work in a field? Do you work on a secret island? Oooh, I hope it's hot and sunny because when I hand deliever my letter, I will be expecting a cocktail and my own personal waiter... Anyway, you tell me to use the "request" section should I wish to complain. Do I want to complain still? Ummmmmm HELL YEAH I DO!

So, to summarise. I ordered. You failed to deliver. You failed to answer correspondance. You failed to read simple forms. You failed to email me back with progress. You failed to update me. You failed to tell me you are an appalling compnay with bad work ethics.

I would like to know what happens now. Will I get my refund? Will I have to fight to get that as well? I am waiting with nervous tension to see who is the bravest and reply to me. I think it is time for a bottle of wine. Lets see what my followers think of my online blog regarding the service I have recieved (or lack of it!). I am sure they will be enthrawled to learn how such a large company can treat a customer so poorly. I am sure they will rush to their computers and order from you .... or shall I be nice and tell them that you have redeemed yourself? Only you can decide. I look forward to a reply within 7 (seven, sieben, siete, septum, hepta, nana, sju ... thats seven in various languages. Seeing as you don't have an address, you could be in any country in the world so I thought I would cover all bases!) working days. Have you ever seen Watchdog on BBC1? It's very good, it's all about companies who treat their customers badly. I watched it the other night whilst consuming more wine.

Yours sincerely 

Mrs P

Reverse Psychology

I've spent the last two days watching people who should stand up and give their seats to those who are pregnant or unable to walk. Apart from me doing it by habit there has been a huge increase in the last 24 hours Of people seemingly more than happily giving up their seats. I think I should complain more about it on here, it seems to make people be more considerate.

Play.com - What A Joke

First of all let me point out I have used Play.com for years and I have done so without issue, sure sometimes things have taken longer to turn up than I'd like, but they've always turned up. I've never had reason to take issue, but they do say one bad experience can create such bad feeling you'll turn away from a company, not sure I ever really believed it but boy do I now!

On the 30th of June I decided to treat myself to a series that I've wanted for quite some time, the last series of the Ghost Whisperer. It's my guilty pleasure and perfect for watching when my husband is elsewhere as he personally can't stand it.

I logged in a few days later to see it had been processed and posted on the 2nd of July. Cue me grinning like a six year old on Christmas Eve. Yes I was entirely that gleeful. And waited for it to turn up. And waited. And waited. And waited.

Two weeks had passed, they state three to five working days delivery, and yet I had seen nothing. I was, to put it mildly, gutted and logged onto their website to let them know and found out you have to wait three weeks before you can report it missing. Okay, no big deal, in fact I left it four weeks just to make sure it wasn't going to turn up.

Then I logged on to the website, it was the 29th of July to be precise, and listed it as unreceived. To which I received the email below. (calling me Mr instead of Mrs which as my first name is listed on my account is pretty poor going in my humble opinion).

Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2011 12:47:43 +0100
From: orderissues@play.com
To:
Subject: Re: Customer Support Issue 12:40:27

Dear Mr. P,

Thank you for your email.

We are sorry to hear that you did not receive your order for Ghost Whisperer. In order for us to process a replacement or refund for your missing order we have sent you a "Not Received Claim Form" which you will need to fill out and sign.

The form can be returned to us freepost, but in order to process your request more quickly please indicate clearly if you want us to refund or replace the item and send a scanned copy to cnrf@play.com.

Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused to you in this matter and thank you for your patience and valued custom.

Kind regards,

Customer Support Team
Play.com

And exactly one week later having received nothing via email or post I sent this response –

To orderissues@play.com, cnrf@play.com

Good Morning,

I still have received nothing in the post from you relating to this claim form mentioned below, is it possible to email it to me?

I have been waiting over a month for this item now, so I would appreciate you dealing with this as a matter of urgency.

Regards,

Mrs P

I again received exactly zero response to my email, and finally feeling rather frustrated I used the phone number on their website to call them on the 9th of August. I explained the situation and was told very sorry and the form would be emailed out to me straight away, it arrived the next day and I filled it out and emailed it back on the 11th of August. As below –

To orderissues@play.com, cnrf@play.com

Good Morning,

Please find attached the signed form requesting a replacement item for the one I have not received. Please could someone confirm receipt of this email and let me know when the replacement item will be sent?

Kind Regards,

Mrs P.

I emailed again on the 16th rather frustrated at the lack of answer of any kind, and again received no response at all, regardless of Play.com's promises to try and respond within three days. And so on the 24th of August I phoned them again. This time I was told that after leaving me on hold for around five or ten minutes the form had been received on the 16th of August and was being processed, however there was a delay because the department was so busy. Not exactly the answer I wanted but at least I knew the form was in the right place and being dealt with.

So I left it with them, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then waited some more.

And then the day before yesterday, 6th of September, I called them back. I spoke to a very nice guy called James, who proceeded to tell me that the form I had submitted was incomplete and therefore could not be processed. Now maybe I'm just being crazy here but I'm pretty sure that in the THREE WEEKS between receiving the form and me calling them AGAIN to chase it up someone could've probably just about managed an email at the least to say "This is wrong, we cannot process until it is properly completed" at which point I would've redone the form and resubmitted without having to waste three more weeks, a lot of disappointment and frustration and yet another phone call to them.

As I said the guy I spoke to was very friendly and helpful and genuinely apologetic, but informed me that I would need to redo the replacement forms and he would send them out to me straight away and could I please return them the same day, which I said I would do. And I did. The forms were received and sent as per my email below.

To orderissues@play.com, cnrf@play.com

Good Morning,

Please find attached the complete missing item confirmation form. As per my conversation with James this morning could this please be addressed today and could your action please be confirmed back to me on either this email address or by phone on xxxxx xxx xxx.

Regards,

Mrs. P.

As you can see I requested for them to confirm their action and (at this point not unexpectedly) I heard nothing from them for the rest of the day.

So yesterday morning, with massive frustration, phoned back and politely requested that they give me an update on the requested replacement. Back I go onto hold for ten minutes and then I get the response that has led to me posting about the ridiculous display of ineptitude, yes up to now I've been frustrated, but now I'm angry.

I get told "We no longer stock that item"...

Are you kidding me?! Nine weeks, NINE WEEKS of chasing this and this is where I finally end up?! But I'm told that they can give me a full refund as if they're doing me a favour. Too right I want a full refund seeing as I have never received the damn goods!!! I was expecting at this point some sort of apology, some sort of offer of compensation, something a little more than 'well it is what it is', but no once again they let me down as nothing is forthcoming...

At this point I just want to complain, and I know the person currently on the phone is not to blame for this, so I ask for their complaints department address. Oh they don't have one, I can only use the online customer services links, you know those ones I've been using and had precisely no answer through...! No, I want a physical address, but apparently they don't have one. These guys must sit at desks somewhere in the ether then! Every company must have a physical address but still I am just being told that nothing is available apart from the online service which I've already come to the conclusion DOES.NOT.WORK!

So here I am. Nine weeks down the line with nothing but a headache to show for it and having reached the conclusion that I will never use this company again. I would seriously dear reader that you do the same. They're kind of like fair weather friends, when it works everything is peachy but when something goes wrong they just don't want to know.

And it appears I’m not alone in my opinion...

http://www.complaintsboard.com/bycompany/playcom-a92291.html

Play.com you truly managed the perfect example of an epic fail, what a complete and utter joke.

Access Denied

Travelcards are a wonderful thing if you work in London, no queuing for tickets or anything like that, you just swipe and go. But, unlike Oystercards they have one massive flaw, the fact that if they come into close proximity to well just about anything the strip demagnetises and stops working. The things that we're told can do are credit cards, mobile phones or any magnets (seeing as a lot of handbags have magnetised catches this can really become awkward for women). When this happens the ticket needs reprinting, which you'd probably imagine is a fairly simple task. Well yes, unless (like me) you have an annual ticket purchased through your workplace. Because apparently even though these are still valid tickets with the train company, their details are not stored by said train company and in order to replace them you need letters and details and all manner of hoop jumping requirements.

As I was travelling back yesterday I was chatting to a friend from work about needing a replacement ticket, as mine is working but being around seven months old the printing on it is massively faded. I was saying that my concern was if it decided to stop working I wasn't convinced that the station staff would be able to read it and therefore would let me travel.

So of course it had to happen today...

When I arrived at the train station this morning the train was already on the platform, but I had time to whizz through and board. Or I would do if my ticket hadn't issued that lovely tone as it went through the machine meaning "NO ENTRY - DENIED!!!".

I swore, the woman behind me swore, basically no one was particularly happy with this turn of events. Thankfully I could see a guard not far off on the platform.

"Excuse me mate, sorry but my ticket isn't working. Could you please let me through?"

He stared at me as if I'd crawled out of a dung heap... I mean how dare I expect him to be helpful, and after I'd asked so rudely?!

He slowly sauntered towards the barriers with a half grin, clearly unconcerned as to whether or not I made it onto the train and performed the incredibly complicated function to open the gate without a ticket, be turned the key. Now I'm sure he was quite happy in his little hut out of the slightly cold wind, I mean the audacity of me thinking that asking him politely to do the job he's paid for is just sooo beyond the pale!!!

Ah well, I made the train despite of his little ego boosting power trip and my I've requested all the info from work to get the little piece of paper reprinted. If only they would allow Oystercards out as far as I am, would save them a fortune and their customers a lot of stress!! I just hope they still accept my ticket to get me home tonight!

It's total sod's law though!! lol!!!

Blind Or Callous?

The one thing that really genuinely annoys me on the underground is the utter lack of consideration given to pregnant women.

Boarded the tube this morning and ended up standing between the two rows of seats facing each other. When we reached Embankment the woman sat closest to the doors stood and disembarked and I was promptly shunted out of the way by another woman wanting the seat. To be honest I'm not that bothered about needing a seat, I'm not ninety nor am I in bad health plus it means not sitting on the who knows what that is ingrained into the fabric...! Two short stops later she got up and got off, well thank god she sat down or she might've collapsed from the strain!!! Okay, this drives me crazy but it's not what actually bothered me.

Sat next to her was a rather pregnant woman. When she sat down she did so very heavily and for those of you who don't know the underground this causes the neighbouring seat to buck you up in the air. At at least seven months pregnant I can't imagine this was a pleasant sensation. Then the pregnant lady fumbled her umbrella and dropped it. Simply put, at her advanced stage of pregnancy she simply couldn't reach the floor to get it, and her rather charming neighbour completely ignored her struggle regardless of having very obviously noticed. So I quickly crouched down and, with a smile, handed the umbrella back to her. The look of surprised appreciation was lovely but just wish people showing simple consideration wasn't such a rarity that it's met with surprise.

The way I figure it is if I was pregnant or someone close to me was I'd like to think people would help if they could over simple moments of thoughtfulness. Is it really that much to ask? It took me a matter of seconds to retrieve this particular woman's umbrella, and it made her day a little nicer, surely that's always going to both worth it? And I have never been able to understand how people can watch someone struggling and just not give a damn.

These two women got off at the same stop, I may have "accidentally" stood in the way of the other one so the pregnant lady could get off first... Shame... *innocent grin*

Office With A View

With the move to our new office my route to and from work from the tube station has obviously altered as well, and to be honest it’s a lot nicer. Instead of McDonalds followed by grimy station followed by road that is a total nightmare to get across, I now have a walk down a lighter side of the station followed by a walk down the canal, through an amphitheatre style square and into the office. Sounds nice doesn’t it?

And that’s what I thought too, until I looked a little closer at the canal. Mmmmm, pretty....

On the plus side there’s a canal boat down there called Iron Maiden, sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!!

Monday Morning Blues

Woke up this mornin'

Wish it was Sunday instead

The shower is callin'

But I'd rather be in bed

I got the blues

Those funky Monday mornin' blues

I don't wanna go to work, but it's another week of payin' my dues

Out to the bus stop

Sunglasses on

Standin' around just waitin'

Think the timetable is a con

I got the blues

Those funky Monday mornin' blues

I don't wanna go to work, but it's another week of payin' my dues

Miss the train by a minute

Settle down to wait

My duvet's still callin'

And now I'm gonna be late

I got the blues

Those funky Monday mornin' blues

I don't wanna go to work, but it's another week of payin' my dues

Finally make it to London

Tube train is packed

Try to get a seat

But I won't and that's a fact

I got the blues

Those funky Monday mornin' blues

I don't wanna go to work, but it's another week of payin' my dues

I've got those Monday mornin' blues

Those funky Monday mornin' blues

Sorry I Didn't Realise That Seat Was Taken...!

There's something I see most days that makes me chuckle, and this morning I was on the receiving end.

There is always one person on the train who seems to think their jacket and/or bag desperately needs a seat all to itself. I guess that said intimate object has some sort of issues regarding it's personal space, or lack thereof.

This morning as I boarded the train I saw an empty seat against the window in a set of two, currently occupied by the jacket of the man sitting in that aisle seat. So I politely said excuse me and indicated I would like to sit down. This assertion was immediately met with a scowl and some tutting followed by the removal of his jacket with as little graciousness as he could possibly summon.

Now being a woman I genuinely sympathise. Unlike men we tend to have a handbag and as I carry a fair amount of things to and from London everyday mine is rather large. I hate having it sat on my lap whilst trying to get comfy but as I won't leave it on the floor and don't like storing it on the shelf above that's kind of my problem and so I accept it. But what on earth makes someone think they can take up two seats on a busy commuter train because they don't want their (very light looking) jacket on their laps?

To be fair they can think it all they like, it ain't happening. Unless the jacket was a ploy and I actually sat on his invisible friend... As laughable as it is there are some really strange people around and I can't discount it completely. Oh well, I hope at least his invisible friend enjoyed having a blonde sat on their lap for half an hour...!

Short And Sweet, And A Little Greasy...

I've had a request for a blog topic from a friend, so here we go mate this is for you.

Sausages. Mmmmmm.

Warning - Sweary Sweary Rant Rant!

I have recently moved office, my new office location means it takes me a little longer to reach my tube station but once there same journey length. So in order to make my regular train I really need to get a shift on. Which is what I did today.

I bolted out of my office like a cat with it's tail on fire and fast walked to the tube, and made bloody good time. Straight onto a tube, wicked. On track to easily make my train, frickin' awesome. Stopped at Embankment, still plenty of time, one stop to go. Just waiting for the doors to shut. So I waited, and waited and got an announcement that there was signal failure, use of alternative routes recommended. Shit!

Okay I can do this, I'm a fast walker and I've only got to get over Hungerford Bridge and over to Waterloo.

To the fucking moron who blocked the escalator leaving the Bakerloo line - Maybe in future at rush hour in London you should move your fat arse out of people's way?! And stopping dead at the top of the exit? Twat!!!!

To the group of people meandering slowly across the bridge eight abreast - Are you mentally fucking retarded?! See all these stressed and pissed off looks you're getting? You deserve every sodding one! Wankers!!!

Slight off topic one to the rushing guy who barged a woman with a pram out of your way on the steps into the station - You're a fucking reprehensible excuse for a human being! What would you feel if someone did that to your wife and child you prick?!

To the group of people blocking half of the Waterloo concourse by walking the speed of a disabled sloth - what the fuck is your problem?! Rush hour? Main London station? Are you stupid, callous or just epic epic assholes?!

All of you dickheads combined led to me getting to the platform just in time to see my train pulling out, and leaving me with half an hour standing around this station waiting for my next train nothing to do but to post this bloody rant! Twunts!!!!