Friday Afternoons And The Time Warp

Friday afternoons go slowly, that’s just the simple reality of the world we live in. Take today for an example. It’s Friday, it’s payday and I have a birthday party tomorrow with all my friends and family in attendance to help me try and sink enough alcohol so that I don’t remember that I’m no longer in my twenties for at least the rest of the weekend. This should be brilliant, I should be stoked, but instead I’m sat at my desk clock watching and convincing myself that the (digital) clock display on my phone has somehow gone wrong and is now travelling in reverse…

I am convinced that after hitting midday on a Friday time genuinely slows to an almost imperceptible crawl. More so of course when you have somewhere else to be, regardless of whether that is a bar with friends or even the dentist to be attacked by a dental drill…!

The irony is I’m even finishing early today and that’s not helping. For starters I’ve not had a lunch break so to speak so the day has been looooooooooooooong, and the second problem is commuting at non commuter time makes you come across as not the nicest person on the planet…

When I’m doing my normal commute I know people will be barging others out of the way so I am a little more suspicious of people for lack of a better word, and whereas it would be a given at five that everyone not walking on the escalators would be stood on the right hand side it’s not always the way earlier in the afternoon. Then if I object I sound like I’m being moody because after all, it isn’t commuter time…

Friday’s time warp is the hardest part of the week without a doubt, and regardless of how much I love the Rocky Horror Picture Show, I don’t want to do the time warp again…!!

And When You Grow Up?

I remember my father teaching me how to ride my first bike in the park by our house, although my dad’s idea of teaching was to ensure I had the basics and then start a game of “Chicken” with me. Credit where it’s due, I learnt fast!!!

I think it’s the sort of memory that everyone retains through their life. The first bike, the first few faltering feet without any support and the one that meant the most to me – the first time my parents decided I was old enough to cycle on the road rather than on the pavement, it was likely being given the keys to the kingdom! I was so proud cycling along with them giving smug glances to those poor “children” who still had to cycle on the pavement. After all I was all grown up and they were just little kids still.

Seeing as that’s the sort of thing I remember feeling incredibly proud about, I was ever so slightly taken aback on my walk to the station this morning to almost be knocked over by a guy cycling straight down the middle of the pavement… He was in his thirties at a guess, had a very expensive looking mountain bike, the posh cycling helmet and all the lycra you could possibly ever need in your life! So in other words, not someone who cycles rarely, so what the hell?!

As he stormed past me I did manage to summon the phrase “And when you grow up are you going to cycle on the road like a real adult?!” to which I was honoured with a sneer as he cycled away, but seriously what do you want to be when you grow up….?!

Single To Life In Five Easy Steps

There are, to be fair, five major stages of a relationship.

Stage 1 - Meeting The Friends

The first big test of a new relationship. We decide to jump in the deep end and throw our prospective long term partners into the shark infested section, and then chum the waters for good measure. Our new partners are prodded, poked and quizzed by our closest friends. It is, if we're honest, a total farce. It's not so much winning the approval of the friends that is aimed for, it's more the fervent hope that after a night with your mates this new addition to your life doesn't become your new minus one as they run screaming for cover.

If they can face your friends and STILL want to date you, it's a good sign!

Stage 2 - Swapping Door Keys

The first really big acknowledgement that this is a truly serious relationship, and a total minefield. Too early, you're a bunny boiling stalker, too late and you're "just not as invested in this relationship" as your partner would like.

It's basically about giving up your autonomy. It's accepting that this person can now walk into your home without the forewarning that has previously given you a chance to hide the dirty dishes in a cupboard and the dirty clothes under the bed. On the plus side, as I've found out, it means they can go back to yours to pick things up for you when you've done something a bit badly planned...

Stage 3 - Moving In Together

Agreeing to co-habit... A big step and not to be taken lightly. Do you move in to theirs, do they move in to yours or do you find a new place together? The risk of moving into one of the existing places is the constant feeling like it's just not "ours" this can create. Most of the time this feeling can manifest most strongly when it comes to spending money on said property...

Then there's the things like the merging of your DVD collections, most often accompanied by the stomach dropping realisation that your significant other has truly awful taste in movies! My husband and I feel this way constantly I think but we counter this problem most of the time by simply accepting that I'm right...

Stage 4 - Engagement/Marriage

You've now come to the conclusion that this is the person  you want to spend the rest of your life with, a truly happy realisation, but full of possible pitfalls.

The engagement ring. Chosen by the proposer or chosen together? If chosen solo then how to find the right one, and what if they don't like it after being presented with it?

How do you tell your families and friends? How do you choose out of all of your friends a best man and maid of honour? Once you've sorted out all the other people involved there's still a million things to arrange.

Do you want a church wedding, or a registry office. What colour scheme? What venue? How many guests? The list is pretty much endless and each item on it has the awesome ability of at least causing minor rows to the worst case scenario of a screaming match which results in the cancellation of everything you worked out so far as you couldn't possibly marry someone who "just doesn't know me at all!!!"

If you make it to the wedding day, none of it matters to be honest. Just try and turn up on time, sober and get the name right, what else could be that big a deal?!

Stage 5 - Children

From pretty much the second you get married your entire family, yes on both sides, will become utterly obsessed with babies and everything baby related! If you think you're going to be given the opportunity of enjoying the "honeymoon period" of being newly married then think again. Within a month, at most, you will naturally hear someone come up with "So when are you two going to start thinking about children?" or someone in the family will give birth and you'll hear "Oooh, could be your turn next..."

I'm sure at some point people will realise that marriage does not equal instant babies, but I doubt it's going to happen in my lifetime! After all once you're married you become a familial breeding program, right?!

And of course the decision to have children will change your whole life forever, it will mean having someone in your life who will cry, puke and poop for the first few years, then refuse to do anything you tell them, then hate you for "restricting their individuality (read grounded) and of course bankrupt you until your retirement.

Yeah, I can see the attraction...!

It's Called Fear Not Vague Dislike!!!

Phobia is defined on dictionary.com as - Morbid fear

I have a serious issue with spiders, I reeeeeally don't like them and can't cope with being around them. Rather annoyingly given that fact, I can't kill them either, it's just not in my nature. So when confronted by a spider I react in one of two ways.

1) Scream like a little girl and run away pleading for someone to deal with the "absolutely giant" spider that had invaded my space.

2) If they're small enough put a glass over them, slide something underneath the glass to trap them, carry this outside and put on the ground. Then kick the glass over and run back inside screaming like a little girl and slam the door shaking with fear.

Whenever anyone asks me about this I admit being a total wuss about spiders, happy to hold my hands up over that one. Snakes, rats, mice and that sort of thing give me absolutely no problem, it's just bloody spiders! I hate their nasty legs, their creepy faces and the way they move makes my skin crawl right off my bones and run screaming (yes, again like a little girl) to somewhere safe, whether or not the rest of me follows is deemed irrelevant...

People over the years have tried to cure me of my utter hatred of these particular nasty little critters, but every single one has had the same bloody attitude. "You need to confront your fears, you should try handling a tarantula...."

What part of "these things scare the crap out of me" is not getting through? Morbid fear...?! Do not want to be near...?! Sure as hell don't want one crawling on me!!!!!! 

Ah that's better. To my well meaning friends, I love you all but seriously I'M NEVER HOLDING ONE OF THOSE SIX LEGGED FREAKS!!!!!! Give up, move on, I'm afraid I will never be buying what you're selling...

We Do This Every Day, Priority Please!!!

As some, or all, of you may have a noticed a large portion of my amused irritation is provided by the delightful other members of the London commuting population. We're a strange breed, very insanely proud of our "commuter" status and oftentimes a bunch of total arses to everyone else.

Escalators, oh good god the arguments that can start. Woe betide anyone who stands statically on the left hand side of an escalator in London, especially at commuter time. At best you'll get an "excuse me" before it moves up the ranks of tutting and sighing to the pinicle of "get out of my bloody way" and other less polite versions of the same sentiment. Out of towner, obvious tourist, tough luck cos no one could care less, you're still in my way making me late by those fractions of seconds on which the London commuter thrives, though ironically the fractions lost tend to lead to fractions of increasing heartrate!
And for those of us who dare to imply someone moving too slowly down the left hand side of the escalator, there's a whole new plethora of hatred aimed through vicious looks and petty reactions. I was once rushing for the tube as I was running late for my train and very politely (yes, really) said excuse me to a man carrying suitcases slowly down the left hand side as I tried to pass to his right on an empty escalator. He actually sped up until we ran into someone else on the righthand side just to stop me, and I missed my tube... That's how petty it can get! I glared at him for the whole twenty minutes spent waiting for the next tube and travelling as far as his stop... Also petty, but it amused me.

Seats on tube trains. Every morning without fail someone will shunt their way past people to make it to the last remaining seat on the tube, regardless of whether the people they'd barging out the way are male, female, pregnant, carrying suitcases, it's irrelevant. Okay, fine, I get that you desperately want to sit down, but the bit that drives me crazy is that they invariably sit there while the train travels one stop and then get up and alight from the train... You couldn't stand up for one bloody stop?! You really think you're that important that the rest of the world can get the hell out of the way so you can sit down for ninety seconds?! Sadly enough if you actually ever posed these questions the answer would most likely be yes...
These seat grabbers are joined as well with the ones who seem to think they deserve more space than others, like the woman last week at rush hour who decided that her bag required it's own seat and refused to move it... Arrogant, idiotic, sad morons. Next time I'll just sit on her damn bags!

I'm not innocent in all this, I'm sure I have my moments of acting like a real commuter. I'll admit I walk through Paddington every day growling to myself that they should have a section just for commuters cos I'm sick of dodging people off on holiday walking at the speed of a severly disabled sloth while I'm trying to make it to my office on time. At least unlike a large proportion I remember that everyone is in the same boat and there's very little point making other people's mornings any worse than they already are!

It's a dog eat dog world, that of the London town commuter, and you need to find your amusement and enjoyment of it in whatever way works for you! This city is mad, crazy and often rude, but it's also beautiful and I love it.

Resumption of Normal Service and a Different Perspective

Apologies for my absence for the last few days, it's not so much I've had a lack of amusement to write about so much as a lack of time upon which to ponder the amusing things I've seen. That or my brain is still addled from the elbow shot I received to the head on the train this morning and I have lost my memory of doing any blogging over the last few days...

Anyway, on to todays point. I have developed a new fascination with photography and although I can't see myself as the next Mario Testino (and nor would I want to) I am of late enjoying finding the random shots each day that capture my imagination or make me laugh.

What I have found about this is it's making me far more observant. The same way as when I started writing this blog I noticed a lot more of the conversations and goings on around me as "fuel for the fire", now I'm finding I look more. I'm not sure a few weeks ago I would've noticed the guy on the tube desperately trying to cover up a pink polka dot tie which I'm pretty sure his wife bought him for Valentines and insisted he wear this morning. To be fair to the poor guy it was hideous...! Or the two Chinese lads carrying four bags of PG Tips...?!
It's not always the funny stuff that's catching my eye. Sometimes it's quirky, unusual or fascinating - anything from a piece of grafitti that is perfectly executed, or the sun coming through the trees at just the right angle, or it's a floor hogging idiot who needs to be mocked on an online blog...

So I'm seeing more, hearing more and noticing more every day to bring to your attention with a liberal twist of sarcasm threaded through it, and where possible I'll try and get you the pictures...!

Train Station Dodgems

There are very few things in life that can reduce me from calm composure to absolute screaming rage in a matter of mere moments, but there is one thing.
It's not selfishness, rudeness or callousness. It's not pushing, shoving or stress. I see all these lovely things on a daily basis, but I can cope with them.

No, the one thing I cannot cope with in any way are those stupid little suitcases people drag behind them through train stations!!! I have no idea how many times these have been dragged straight across my path without the oblivious owner having a clue or a care as to the mayhem and havoc they're wreaking. The damn things are small, pick them up and carry them?!

I pass through two major London stations every weekday and I swear they're multiplying! This morning this little grey and black piece of baggage on a telescopic handle scooted straight across me as I headed for the Waterloo Underground ticket barrier and I came damn close to a faceplant into the ticket reader after the flying leap I was treated to!

I think my favourite part of the stupid things though is the absolute annoyance on the face of the luggage owner for you having dared to trip over their "suitcase"! I'll tell you what, I'll start dragging bear traps on rope behind me as I commute every day. But for gods sake don't step on it, it's reeeeeally annoying having to clean your blood off it!!!!

Oh and the next time I trip over one of those things I'm going to rip the damn handle of it and shove it somewhere!!!

Sardines Anyone?

Just a quick moment of grrr. If you shove yourself bodily onto a mega packed tube train why spend the next ten minutes sighing loudly, scowling at everyone and generally making it very plain you're annoyed at the discomfort you're in? Next time, WAIT FOR THE NEXT TRAIN YOU MORON!!!

Or is the 1 minute waiting time between tubes just too long?!

Do I Have To Be Your Valentine?!

Valentines Day, the day when everyone showers their loved one with cards, flowers and gifts. Where a romantic meal at a beautiful restaurant is a must and even at a push a proposal if you're not yet engaged or married; after all it is the most romantic night of the year isn't it?

Well no actually. In our household there won't be gifts and flowers, no one will be lining up a romantic meal either secretly or not and well having been married since last year I can't see there being a proposal on the cards!

Now this probably makes it sound like my husband is an unromantic hopeless case, that I am suffering for the lack of these gestures of love. Like hell!! I am more than happy and proud to stand up and be counted as saying that Valentines Day is the biggest crock of shit Hallmark holiday ever conceived! It's my choice that we don't mark this day and I urge you all to join me in refusing to be caught up in the romance of it all.

Let's break it down shall we?

Cards. Very cute, make you smile but then either end up in the bin or in a drawer to likely never be looked at again!

Flowers. The only people who benefit from flowers sent or received ON the 14th of February are the florists! They're gleefully rubbing their hands together as their flowers fly out the door at the special one day price of complete rip off!

Gifts. Lovely to receive but a Valentines gift? Really? What a waste of money!

Romantic restaurant. Welcome to the romantic haven of the special Valentines menu. This menu could actually be purchased any day of the week if you just order the parts separately but hey if they didn't print signs and special love related replacement menus how could they possibly justify the doubling of price?! Oh and we'd get a glass each of "champagne" (read Sainsburys own cava) to complete the mood?! Oh well in that case we're there!!

It's a con people, and I know you can see that's true, you're not stupid. Simple fact of it is this -

If you need a prescribed day of the year to tell the person you're spending your life with that you love them, there's something wrong with your relationship and it's not going to be fixed with an overpriced meal and some wilting roses... Tell them you love them because YOU want to, not cos the people who want to sell you junk tell you that you should! Trust me, it'll mean more to them that way!

Weddings, Dresses and Bridezillas

Ah weddings, I love them. I love the feeling of excitement, the total state of happiness of the lovely couple getting married and the suspension of cynicism of everyone attending just for one day. It was the best day of my life and I love seeing other people have that same feeling.
It's the lead up to the day where you look if you want to see real insanity!

Two friends of mine at the moment have been asked to be bridesmaids and are having utter nightmares.

One is attending a wedding in Australia. So far she's had to come up with the airfare to Oz, the money for the bridesmaid dress, the money to return the sorry state of fabric that arrived in place of a dress, and various other bits and pieces along the way. It's gotten so bad she's actually pulled out of being a bridesmaid and to be honest I can't blame her!

The other is attending a wedding in South Africa. Again air fares have to be considered, she has no idea who's paying for what and the bride keeps changing her colour scheme every five minutes so the dresses can't get sorted.

People, people, people!!! This is not difficult. So here's my quick guide to (at least partly) reducing stress for wedding planning.

1) The bridesmaids dresses. Pick your colours pretty early to give everyone plenty of time, and decide if you're doing "mix and match" or "one style fits all". Personally I told my bridesmaids which designer and colour I wanted them to wear and then told them to pick their own style of dress. Everyone was comfortable, they all looked stunning and they were sorted pretty early on.

2) Brides, be upfront about what you expect from people. Tell your bridesmaids what you're covering and what you need them to sort out themselves. In my experience people are more than happy to help, if they know where they stand from the start!

3) Brides I'm sorry but I've got to tell you a badly kept secret. On your wedding day you are the most important person at the wedding, you pretty much have carte blanche to have it run any way you want. BUT you don't get to control everyone for every other day leading up to the wedding! It isn't, yet, all about you!!

4) Grooms you've got it pretty easy. Most women want to do the wedding planning, but you're not off the hook completely. Sort your groomsmen out, don't get trashed the night before or the morning of the wedding and don't forget to say how beautiful your new wife looks in your speech!!! Biiiig problems if that gets forgotten, and no my husband didn't forget thankfully!! Oh and watch one episode of Bridezillas, your appreciation for the sanity of your wife to be will never be higher!!

5) Try and remember that whether you're the bride, groom, maid of honour, or just a friend attending another friend's wedding - it's supposed to be fun?

Flower Power

This is a current advert on the London Underground. It's for Kew Garden Flower Show. Yes it's eye catching, bright and most certainly conveys that the point is flower related. Here's the question though. How much of this is real and how much is CGI?

Cakes? Doughnuts? Aaaah, Muffins? Yep, Muffins!

It is a well known fact that we all look in the mirror and see an unrealistic version of what other people see, partly because we never see what others do but instead a mirror image. But when we don't actually fit into our clothes surely we should notice.

Introducing muffin top. The lovely state of being, usually inhabited by girls in their teens, where they have squeezed themselves in to a pair of jeans one (or more) size too small and a flap of fat rolls over the top of the jeans creating the same shape as the top of a muffin. The scary thing is at some point they have looked in a mirror and come to the conclusion they look amazing.. Fail.

I am not the skinniest woman on the planet, nor am I the fattest, but I've come up with a simple system to combat the danger of muffin top! It's revolutionary, it's astounding, it's called buying clothes that fit..!!!!

Another danger of the "of course this fits me" mentality is the dreaded camel toe. Dum dum duuuuum!!! This is where the trousers or shorts being worn are really a size too small but instead of affecting the top of the waistline the pull on the bottom is so much so that everything is pulled up until you have internal clothing and the shape of a camel's toe firmly wedged to the front of your fanny. Real pretty hey? Especially when you're confronted by a large woman on the underground stood about a foot and a half from your face exhibiting an "impressive" display of 'toe!! Oh wait, that was yesterday... Rabbits in headlights have looked more relaxed than me apparently.

So, what have we learnt today? All shapes and sizes are just great, if you're happy then who cares what clothing size you are? But dear readers, please dress accordingly. You might think you look like "the bomb" but you're really just causing explosions in my brain.

The Return of the Floor Hogger

My friend the floor hog was back this morning, and unfortunately as I prefer to sit in a two seat area against the window it meant dealing with the distinct lack of floor space again.  It could be worse, at least I can put my foot up on the side, however when I did he apparently thought this meant "please feel free to put your feet under my chair as I'm not using the space...". So I put my feet back down, and accidentally stamped on his leg in the process, I'm gutted...

Once we went through the station that guarantees no spare seats in sight I realised just how much of a selfish oaf this guy actually is. Not only did the poor woman sat next to him have barely half a seat, but he also proceeded to once again read the newspaper in such a way that it leaned over the half the seat she had! And every time she wasn't looking he would stare at her in a very strange manner, as if she'd dared to take up space that was his!

I really hope I don't see him again, as I came very close to educating him as to my rather low opinion of him, but I fear I'm stuck with the rude and odious little toad if I take this train. Now there's a good incentive to get going earlier in the morning!!

The queue being all the way back to the escalators at the Bakerloo line this morning however, doesn't have quite the same effect...!!

Why Do We Never Learn?

When I woke up this morning I was struck by a few simple little realisations.

1. I had reached about six times for the same can of coke I was convinced was on my bedside table, and wasn't.
2. I really really really really reeeeeally didn't want to have to get up.
3. I most definitely, absolutely and utterly should NOT have aided and abetted in the sourcing of that third bottle of wine last night...

Oh my god, my head was spinning, I was exhausted and I was on the receiving end of a large amount of mockery from my oh so thoughtful husband who was finding my then state incredibly funny. Upon asking why I was getting so much abuse I was told that I had (apparently) said I would be home by around nine and was quite happy if he then wanted to shove off to the pub for a couple. I got home around half midnight last night, so I don't think he got the chance for the pub... Yes I can understand his irritation, but he is also very well aware of my habit of stopping "for a quick drink" on the way home and rocking in gone midnight. He also, in fairness, should be knowledgeable enough of his own wife to be able to tell how drunk I am on the phone... Though in his defence I have been told on many occasions that I am known for sounding completely sober when actually being catatonicly wasted at the same time, so maybe I can't have a go at him too much for that one.

Ah well, I apologised and promised that I would babysit at some point soon so he could go out and it would make it up to him. Husband thusly satisfied I went to grab a shower and get ready for work. This is harder than you'd imagine really whilst still having the debate with yourself as to whether or not you're actually still drunk or if you're just reeeeeeally hanging!
I struggled through my morning routine and finally emerged victorious by the bus stop, which I have been seeing far too much of lately! I think my diet plan sits quietly crying in a corner on nights like last night! The Surrey bus service being it's usual helpful self it naturally provided a bus for me, albeit fifteen minutes late meaning I missed my train. Oh well, another along in ten minutes so I'm not overly bothered at that point. Until I get on the train, my mobile rings and I'm helpfully informed that there are NO tubes leaving from Waterloo. Oh wonderful, obviously this could never happen on a day where I'm less inclined to scream (if the noise wouldn't hurt my head) and run around mentally toting a gun!

Apparently London Underground was prewarned to my sunny demeanour as they had the damn things up and running again by the time I reached Waterloo! So having collected the friend who'd waited for me after reporting the lack of tubes, grabbed a really healthy breakfast of a bacon roll (yes the extornionate ones, this was an emergency) and a toffee muffin and walked up to the office I finally reached my desk. Blood shot eyes, tired expression and a slight difficulty concentrating, why did I think this wouldn't happen last night when happily guzzling red wine? That's it, I shall never do this again. Never again will the decision of school night drinking pass unimpeded through the "nothing to declare" section of my brain!

Hmm, I'm out for dinner with some girlfriends tonight... Oh well, one more can't hurt... right...?

Say What Now?!

A little collection of my top five announcements I've heard due to trains/tubes, I'm becoming convinced of the idea that the announcers actually do suffer medically from some form of verbal diarrhea...


5. Southwest Trains en route to Waterloo
I'm afraid I do have some information about the London Underground service this morning, but I'm going to wait until we've been through Surbiton so the rest of the passengers can hear it to.
(Why say anything yet for starters? And why not just tell us you can't be bothered repeating yourself?!)

4. London Underground, Bakerloo Line
Please move right down inside the carriages, but there is another train about one minute behind me so it's not worth piling in and making everyone grumpy!
(If I could have this tube driver every day I so would!)

3. London Underground, Mile End Station
There is currently a delay on the Central Line due to a problem at Leicester Square.
(Um, the Central Line doesn't go through Leicester Square...?)

2. Waterloo Station
Apologies for the delay to this service, this is due to an ongoing fatality on the line...
(I'm sorry, did you say "ongoing"?! The only thing I've ever been able to come up with for this one is a fall onto tracks and the current keeps shocking them back to life)

1. Waterloo Station
The Waterloo and City line is currently part suspended.
(The Waterloo and City line runs between two stations only, how the hell can it possibly be part suspended?!)

The Unholy Trinity

There are three types of people who could sit down on a commuter train, very specific and different types.

1) Considerate Commuters

These types always think about other on the train, make sure they don't hit anyone with their bags or coats and do their best to take up the space allocated to just one person. They keep the noise down and don't sit talking on the phone to whomsoever is waiting for them at home to describe in great detail how they'll be in the door in less than two minutes.

Slight deviation from point but good grief stop doing that!!! You'll be in the door in less time than your conversation will take, it's a pointless attempt to look like someone gives a damn whether you make it home in one piece or not and it generally has the effect of convincing everyone else on the train that you're just a dick! Yes man on the train last night, I am talking to you...!

Back to point.

2) Apathetic Commuters

These people aren't particularly concerned about the others sharing a carriage with them, but not in a thoughtless way. They've basically just switched off and simply want to get to where they're going with as little fuss as possible. If they offend it's not intentional and they're unlikely to object to people being thoughtless unless really provoked.

3) Intentionally Rude Commuter

These people not only don't care if they offend or inconvenience you, they go so far as to enjoy it. If they can make your trip just that little bit crappy or miserable then they're happy. They range from those who take up a stupid amount of floor space, preferably with luggage as well as feet, and just glare at you if you say anything about it to those who will actually try and take up as much space as possible in every respect because they find it amusing to see the shapes they can make you comfort into. I think they see it as a live game of Tetris...

Personally I'd say I'm a number 1 type commuter, with the odd dash of 2 on a bad day. But, I seem to attract type 3 idiots whenever I set foot on a train.

Take yesterday as an example. In the morning I get the floorspace hogger, see picture below. This is actually after I'd asked him, very politely, if he would please move his bag and feet so I could sit down opposite him.

Then apparently the lady who sat next to him didn't realise that his paper was already using that seat...

It was a lovely smiley trip to work, lol!

Then on the way home I got the other kind, the vindictive one. He was quite a big lad, and sat with his feet firmly planted apart and his arms tight to his sides taking up the most space possible. Even knowing from my obvious discomfort he didn't move at all and after about ten minutes of this I couldn't (or rather my poor back couldn't) take the angle I was forced to sit at and I stood in the aisle for the rest of the trip. Apparently he didn't even look up when I got up, wouldn't look at me once I was standing and generally couldn't give a damn. And just to round it off he got off at my stop, I made sure he got stuck behind a few people getting off the train. Shame....

Oh and this morning someone fell down the stairs into the Underground and ploughed in to me on his way down. Thankfully no one really injured, but ouch that really hurt!!!

Bless You...

"I don't get coughs and colds since I quit smoking.."

Having once again resigned myself to the bus, though not due to alcohol I should add, I got chatting to a very nice lady who I regularly see at the bus stop. No idea of her name but because we run into each other quite often we do at least swap pleasantries each time.

We had originally got chatting about how much lighter it was this morning. Given the time I have to leave for work there is a period of time during which I leave home in the dark and it's dark by the time I get back to my town. During then it does feel slightly like the sun is actually this myth passed down through generations but just no longer a reality!

I mentioned I had also quit smoking and so no longer went out during the day at work which didn't help with my winter/sun ratio and was told she'd quit years ago and knew what I meant.

Slight admission, I've had a couple of cigarettes... But in my defence I have by no means started regularly smoking again and still count myself as a non smoker. And to be honest I've not much enjoyed the ones I had, so I'm not exactly being lulled by in by the siren song of that oh so sweet and sexy taste of ash in my mouth....

But I'm digressing, as per usual to be honest, and my point was this swap of quitting smoking admissions led to the discussion of what we preferred now nicotine doesn't play a part in our lives.

Me -

• Not so tired in the mornings
• Clearer skin
• Definite reduction of severity of hangovers

The last one is the one I really really appreciate. I'm often tired so being less so is good but meh. I've been very lucky in that I have very good skin so again meh. But omg my headaches are reduced, that horrible "morning after" taste in my mouth is far less and I'm often up and kicking again after either just sleeping it off or within an hour of getting up. My need for hangover food is less but I'm not about to give up that excuse for pizza on a hangover morning!! ;-P

Her -

• Sleeping better
• Saving money
• And this is where I heard that comment - "I don't get coughs and colds since I quit smoking.."

She promptly coughed, sneezed and fished about in her bag for a tissue. I believe she failed to notice the irony...