The Latter One

I spent the night at the hospital on Friday, unfortunately my mother is unwell and I needed to take her in. I left at about five in the morning to go and get some sleep before I would head back on Saturday and lucky me it was hammering down with rain! :/
It's only a ten minute drive so I wasn't too concerned about it, so I set off happily dreaming of my bed.

As I came over a hill into the next door town to mine I realised that I had some idiot sat about five inches off my back bumper... Now seeing as it's five am one of the two following options is the most likely -

1) I am pissed.
2) I am pissed off

It was the latter...

Because of the heavy rain there were some seriously huge puddles everywhere and as I got close to the first on my side of the road I slowed right down realised it was pretty deep and would only affect my left wheels. Matey boy behind me beeps, flashes his lights and generally acts like a tool. Now I'm thinking had I continued at fifty miles an hour one of the two following options was likely -

1) I would enter the puddle and the waters would part before me making sure that nothing untoward happened and I floated on through.
2) The deep water on my left wheels would cause them to turn more slowly meaning that my right ones would continue at their regular speed causing my car to veer, aquaplane and spin.

Pretty sure that'd be the latter...

The road was straight and empty apart from us so he decided to overtake, to be honest I was happy with that because it got him off my back! Ahead of us loomed another puddle, which of these two options happened -

1) He sensibly slowed his speed thereby passing through the puddle safely and without issue.
2) He continued at fifty miles an hour, his left wheels were affected by the deep water and his car spun out.

Oh yeah, that'd be the latter!

I carefully drove round him and continued on my way. Which of these two options do you think I was thinking -

1) Oh what a shame, I'm sure he didn't realise what would happen and this should be a helpful learning experience for him!
2) What a twat!

It was the, well I think you get the idea by now... ;)

Boy Racing Fail...

Picture the scene, I'm sat at the top of the high street of my town waiting for the traffic lights. There are two lanes, I'm going left. A car pulls up alongside me, a young guy (maybe eighteen or so) sat in the drivers seat. He's turning right.

Now imagine my confusion when he starts revving his engine, and I don't mean idly gunning the gas. I mean revving the nuts off his car, and looking to his left with that "let's race" look on his face.
Confusion, I mean true confusion. Let me explain simply.

At this particular junction the left lane turns left, the right lane turns right, there is no way we could be sat parallel with each other and be going in the same direction. None. I mean what the hell does he think we're going to do, race the two inches off the line until we veer in two different directions?! I mean really, what exactly is the point in trying to get your race on when we aren't even going in the same fucking direction?!

Moron.

And after all that I pulled away, not slowly but not fast, and he was still sat on the line as I turned the corner... *eyeroll*