Well since my good intentions in January the weight loss plan hasn't exactly gone according to, well, plan! So as of this week, things they are a-changin'!
I'm back to walking, every day and both ways so that's now over three miles a day, and I can't be doing with this meandering slow walking that people seem to do so it's a pretty fast walk. Speaking of, why do people walk at the speed of a crippled snail? If you're walking, chances are you're going somewhere in particular, and if you're going somewhere specific then how about a little more forward mobility to get you there?
There's something good about doing the walk to be honest, it wakes me up and it does give you that lovely smug feeling because you've done some exercise. The down side to it, well I could be experiencing that this evening... The down side is I will not take a bus at all now, so I will be walking home come rain or shine. At the moment this'd be rain, and I'm wearing a vest top and a denim jacket... I predict drowned rat chic by the time I walk in the front door! Such a good look for me!
As for diet, yes I'm back on that kick too. And actually doing pretty well. Largely eating eggs, lean meats, fruit and raw veg, and I am so glad that I actually like vegetables otherwise this would be killing me! Someone at work did give me a diet plan that is supposed to make you lose up to 14 pounds in a week, but to be honest for one thing I think losing that much that fast isn't the best idea but also I suck at being told exactly what to eat and when. It's exactly why I never sign up to diet plans or groups, Slimming World sounds great but if I want meat I don't care if I'm supposed to be on a "green day". And as for Weightwatchers I just inherently object to paying five pounds a week for someone I don't know to weigh me and give me judgemental glances.
Now before anyone gets up in arms can I just point out that I know both these, and other, plans work for a lot of people. But I just do not have the right temperament to be restricted like that!
So we'll see. This logic should save money and help me lose weight, wonder how long I'll be able to ignore the siren call of KFC though....
Wednesday 22 June 2011
Dear Southwest Trains
You have recently been the cause of some really amusing days for me, so I thought I would write to share with you my abject glee at the service which you have been providing.
About two weeks ago, on a lovely Monday evening, after working late and being rather tired I arrived back at Waterloo in order to catch my evening train home to the peace, quiet and relaxation of my sofa and/or bed. Imagine my disappointment to read on the departure boards that NOTHING was leaving Waterloo at all. This was replaced by a sense of utter relief when the board was amended to state a train was leaving in the next ten minutes that was stopping at my stop.
In order to avoid the stampede that followed this announcement on the main concourse I decided to be a little sneaky and enter the closest platform in order to go down into the passageways that I could use to shortcut to the relevant platform. Unfortunately, it would appears around a thousand people had exactly the same idea so I'm unsure as to whether this decision helped or hindered my attempt to scramble onto the waiting train.
Upon my arrival on the correct platform I instantly dismissed the train as a waste of time, you could not have fitted an additional hobbit on the train with the careful application of crowbars. In fact I'd go so far as to say it made sardine tins, those of the anecdotal variety, look positively roomy! All of this combined led me to walk rather morosely back from the platform and to return to the departure boards on the concourse to find that the situation had returned to normal and there was STILL nothing at all leaving Waterloo, I'm sure you can imagine my barely contained joy!
At this point I decided that, to be perfectly honest, I wanted a cigarette. You wouldn't have known this at the time, but I am actually trying to quit smoking. I do have the occasional smoke, however this is the first time in quite some months I have actually gone so far as to agree to pay the insane Waterloo price of eight pounds (seriously?!?!?!!!!) for a packet of smokes and of course the further outlay for a lighter, given that I can't really believe my sunny disposition at this time would have been improved by the possession of cigarettes but no means to light them. Upon settling myself outside I overheard another passenger asking a member of staff about trains back to the town in which I live and so I involved myself in this conversation. The staff member, although very polite and sympathetic, basically informed us that at the moment there was nothing doing due to signal failures at three points on the line, but he was unsure as to how long this disruption would last. As I had gotten talking to the other passenger stuck there as well we decided that instead of standing around bored and solo we would go to the basement pub and join each other in a glass of wine.
So, my dear train managers, so far in one evening you have driven a thirty year old woman to drinking and smoking, are you proud of yourselves yet? Don't worry if you're not, we're not quite done yet.
At half past ten that evening, so after I had been sat waiting for your train services for four and a half hours at that point, we asked for the final time as to whether or not we were going to be able to get a train. This time, and yes we had been asking quite regularly, the answer was amended from "Hopefully but we don't know when" to "You'll be lucky, I'd make other arrangements!". This made the lovely fact dawn on me that I was stuck in the middle of London, trying to get to Surrey and unable to get any closer than Vauxhall by the sound of things! Right well, did you have any suggestions?
A black cab you say? Well yes that would work, are you going to pay the ninety odd pounds it would cost? No? Okay, anything else?
A night bus. Great plan, if I lived in London! Are you actually listening to me?!
Could my husband come and pick me up? Funnily enough with a small child to consider, NO!
A hotel, oh yes of course, and again will you be paying? No? Well that's unlikely then isn't it?
Thankfully, for me, my brother and his wife live in London. So I phoned him and he very kindly agreed to put me up for the night on their living room floor. Whilst this was massively appreciated it wasn't exactly my ideal, and there is just something lovely about going to work the next day in the same clothes. I mean nothing else really can quite recreate that ick factor or make you feel quite so scuzzy for an entire day. Can I suggest that you try it sometime? I'm sure you'll just love it!
So after this stellar performance on the Monday I was sure you'd be doing everything in your power to ensure a calm and easy rest of the week. Hence my confusion when there followed massive delays on the Thursday night, which to be fair I was lucky enough to avoid but only just by the sounds of it! Now you see, I've also been told that the same thing happened on the Friday.
Could you please explain to me that out of five working days, you manage to completey screw up three? Have you heard of customer satisfaction? Really, because lately your company does not appear to provide any!
I did like the story in the paper about how Southwest Trains would be paying compensation to those stuck on the Thursday night trains for four hours. I'm curious though, how about those of us who couldn't get home AT ALL on the Monday? Or do we not count?
Just to round off the super crush I'm developing on you off the back of your just superb service in the last couple of weeks I managed to accidentally leave my annual travelcard at home one morning last week. I obviously went and purchased a one day card and made my way to work, after picking up a form to request a refund. When given said form I was very peevishly questioned as follows -
SWT Employee - Have you left your travelcard at home before?
Me - No, I'm usually pretty good at remembering it.
SWT Employee - What is going on this morning, you're like the fifth person in ten minutes who's said the same?!
Me - I don't know, and to be honest I really need to make the next train so I'm not that interested.
SWT Employee - Well if this is the first time you've done it fill this form in and you can get a refund, if it's the second time we'll charge a fee for the refund and after that you get nothing back.
Okaaaaaaay, can anyone else see something a bit odd here? I pay around two and a half thousand pounds a year for the travelcard that grants me the right to stand uncomfortably on a crowded train/tube/bus every day but if I forget my card more than twice then I have to pay again for a service I have already paid above and beyond the sane amount for?! Do you realise it's almost twenty quid for a one day travelcard from my stop? Do you not maybe think you're being a little unfair on that basis?!
Hey but don't worry, next time you cancel all the trains or fail to provide the service that I have paid in advance for, I won't be holding my breath for you to refund me for that day's travel. After all, it's not like we pay much or have like no other choice of transport method...
About two weeks ago, on a lovely Monday evening, after working late and being rather tired I arrived back at Waterloo in order to catch my evening train home to the peace, quiet and relaxation of my sofa and/or bed. Imagine my disappointment to read on the departure boards that NOTHING was leaving Waterloo at all. This was replaced by a sense of utter relief when the board was amended to state a train was leaving in the next ten minutes that was stopping at my stop.
In order to avoid the stampede that followed this announcement on the main concourse I decided to be a little sneaky and enter the closest platform in order to go down into the passageways that I could use to shortcut to the relevant platform. Unfortunately, it would appears around a thousand people had exactly the same idea so I'm unsure as to whether this decision helped or hindered my attempt to scramble onto the waiting train.
Upon my arrival on the correct platform I instantly dismissed the train as a waste of time, you could not have fitted an additional hobbit on the train with the careful application of crowbars. In fact I'd go so far as to say it made sardine tins, those of the anecdotal variety, look positively roomy! All of this combined led me to walk rather morosely back from the platform and to return to the departure boards on the concourse to find that the situation had returned to normal and there was STILL nothing at all leaving Waterloo, I'm sure you can imagine my barely contained joy!
At this point I decided that, to be perfectly honest, I wanted a cigarette. You wouldn't have known this at the time, but I am actually trying to quit smoking. I do have the occasional smoke, however this is the first time in quite some months I have actually gone so far as to agree to pay the insane Waterloo price of eight pounds (seriously?!?!?!!!!) for a packet of smokes and of course the further outlay for a lighter, given that I can't really believe my sunny disposition at this time would have been improved by the possession of cigarettes but no means to light them. Upon settling myself outside I overheard another passenger asking a member of staff about trains back to the town in which I live and so I involved myself in this conversation. The staff member, although very polite and sympathetic, basically informed us that at the moment there was nothing doing due to signal failures at three points on the line, but he was unsure as to how long this disruption would last. As I had gotten talking to the other passenger stuck there as well we decided that instead of standing around bored and solo we would go to the basement pub and join each other in a glass of wine.
So, my dear train managers, so far in one evening you have driven a thirty year old woman to drinking and smoking, are you proud of yourselves yet? Don't worry if you're not, we're not quite done yet.
At half past ten that evening, so after I had been sat waiting for your train services for four and a half hours at that point, we asked for the final time as to whether or not we were going to be able to get a train. This time, and yes we had been asking quite regularly, the answer was amended from "Hopefully but we don't know when" to "You'll be lucky, I'd make other arrangements!". This made the lovely fact dawn on me that I was stuck in the middle of London, trying to get to Surrey and unable to get any closer than Vauxhall by the sound of things! Right well, did you have any suggestions?
A black cab you say? Well yes that would work, are you going to pay the ninety odd pounds it would cost? No? Okay, anything else?
A night bus. Great plan, if I lived in London! Are you actually listening to me?!
Could my husband come and pick me up? Funnily enough with a small child to consider, NO!
A hotel, oh yes of course, and again will you be paying? No? Well that's unlikely then isn't it?
Thankfully, for me, my brother and his wife live in London. So I phoned him and he very kindly agreed to put me up for the night on their living room floor. Whilst this was massively appreciated it wasn't exactly my ideal, and there is just something lovely about going to work the next day in the same clothes. I mean nothing else really can quite recreate that ick factor or make you feel quite so scuzzy for an entire day. Can I suggest that you try it sometime? I'm sure you'll just love it!
So after this stellar performance on the Monday I was sure you'd be doing everything in your power to ensure a calm and easy rest of the week. Hence my confusion when there followed massive delays on the Thursday night, which to be fair I was lucky enough to avoid but only just by the sounds of it! Now you see, I've also been told that the same thing happened on the Friday.
Could you please explain to me that out of five working days, you manage to completey screw up three? Have you heard of customer satisfaction? Really, because lately your company does not appear to provide any!
I did like the story in the paper about how Southwest Trains would be paying compensation to those stuck on the Thursday night trains for four hours. I'm curious though, how about those of us who couldn't get home AT ALL on the Monday? Or do we not count?
Just to round off the super crush I'm developing on you off the back of your just superb service in the last couple of weeks I managed to accidentally leave my annual travelcard at home one morning last week. I obviously went and purchased a one day card and made my way to work, after picking up a form to request a refund. When given said form I was very peevishly questioned as follows -
SWT Employee - Have you left your travelcard at home before?
Me - No, I'm usually pretty good at remembering it.
SWT Employee - What is going on this morning, you're like the fifth person in ten minutes who's said the same?!
Me - I don't know, and to be honest I really need to make the next train so I'm not that interested.
SWT Employee - Well if this is the first time you've done it fill this form in and you can get a refund, if it's the second time we'll charge a fee for the refund and after that you get nothing back.
Okaaaaaaay, can anyone else see something a bit odd here? I pay around two and a half thousand pounds a year for the travelcard that grants me the right to stand uncomfortably on a crowded train/tube/bus every day but if I forget my card more than twice then I have to pay again for a service I have already paid above and beyond the sane amount for?! Do you realise it's almost twenty quid for a one day travelcard from my stop? Do you not maybe think you're being a little unfair on that basis?!
Hey but don't worry, next time you cancel all the trains or fail to provide the service that I have paid in advance for, I won't be holding my breath for you to refund me for that day's travel. After all, it's not like we pay much or have like no other choice of transport method...
Saturday 18 June 2011
Find The Gap
It's a funny thing, walking through a crowded railway station at rush hour. If you've not done it before, or you're on the outside looking in it almost seems impossible to comprehend picking your way through the surging mass in front of you.
People stop with no warning, change course unpredictably, have those stupid little suitcases that we all know I love soooooooo much and we mustn't forget that annoying moment where both people heading towards each other dodge and you end up crashing into each other. For the first week or so I was doing my London commute I think I said sorry at least fifty times a day and arrived at work and home each way feeling like I'd just played a real live game of dodgems or a mass scale game of chicken and lost...
Finally, I worked it out. It's all about finding the gap. When someone looks at the rush hour in Waterloo they see the mass throng of people, I now see the spaces between them and almost forget the people themselves are there. It turns into a dance of sorts. You duck and dive, weave and dodge, you learn pretty fast to judge people's speed and work out whether you can get somewhere before they do.
Maybe it should be treated like driving, have training and a test at the end before you're allowed loose on the general population. You could have a theory test with questions like -
And finally, when you've passed all these tests you will be a certfied Crowd Weaver and be allowed to commute alone. There, one problem of the commuter fixed, now if I could only come up with a way to take care of the bloody tourists and holidaymakers....
People stop with no warning, change course unpredictably, have those stupid little suitcases that we all know I love soooooooo much and we mustn't forget that annoying moment where both people heading towards each other dodge and you end up crashing into each other. For the first week or so I was doing my London commute I think I said sorry at least fifty times a day and arrived at work and home each way feeling like I'd just played a real live game of dodgems or a mass scale game of chicken and lost...
Finally, I worked it out. It's all about finding the gap. When someone looks at the rush hour in Waterloo they see the mass throng of people, I now see the spaces between them and almost forget the people themselves are there. It turns into a dance of sorts. You duck and dive, weave and dodge, you learn pretty fast to judge people's speed and work out whether you can get somewhere before they do.
Maybe it should be treated like driving, have training and a test at the end before you're allowed loose on the general population. You could have a theory test with questions like -
- You're moving towards the stairs to the underground and your mobile rings. Do you (a) stop dead at the top of the stairs, (b) answer the phone on the move and then talk louder and louder about unexpectedly losing signal as you descend underground... or (c) get the hell out of everyone else's way and have your conversation?
- For some reason your ticket is rejected by one of the ticket barriers. Do you (a) stand there repeatedly putting your ticket through while it repeatedly refuses you access, (b) start hollering for someone to let you through whilst remaining where you're standing blocking the barrier or (c) get out the way, find the barrier guard and ask them to let you through?
- The signs as you come through the underground exits read "Keep Left". Do you (a) keep left, (b)ignore the signs and walk down the right hand side thereby getting in everyone's way or (c) walk wherever you feel like it but making sure it's really slowly so as to annoy and hold up as many people as possible?
And finally, when you've passed all these tests you will be a certfied Crowd Weaver and be allowed to commute alone. There, one problem of the commuter fixed, now if I could only come up with a way to take care of the bloody tourists and holidaymakers....
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