The Train Is Late Why...?!

During my time so far as a London commuter I have heard some truly bizarre reasons for a train being delayed and/or cancelled. So I thought I'd give myself (and hopefully you) a laugh with a meander down memory lane of a few.

1) Surfs Up!

This was maybe two years back but it's remained stuck in my mind.

My now husband had given me a lift to the station one morning, either he had the day off or he was on gardening leave at the time but I can't remember which.

As he dropped me off the train was on the platform so I rushed through to get it only to be told that not only could I not get on this train but there would be none running through our station for a while. Apparently some brainiac had travelled up from Southampton with the intention of train surfing from Guildford to London and graffiti'ing every bridge on the way down.

Okay, not my idea of fun but each to their own.

What had happened was that this paragon of forward planning had failed to identify the low bridge between two of the stops... I'm guessing details aren't required as to his state of being at the time! The train was most definitely not going anywhere and I felt genuinely sorry for the police officers having to explain to people what had happened whilst trying to not smile...

After a little attempted rerouting of my commute I gave up and took a days leave, and for those of you wondering yes he did survive. I really hope he's incapable of reproducing though, not sure natural selection is equipped to deal with more of him...!

2) Dodgy Turn

Announcement on the train itself - This service will not be able to run because a passenger has been taken ill.

Okay, I would hate to be in their position. A train is hardly the ideal place to be struggling. But this situation only occurs when the train has not yet left it's originating station, they wouldn't cancel it mid service.

Maybe I'm being unfair here but surely this can be rectified to everyone's best interests to MOVE THEM OFF THE TRAIN?! Then the train can leave, and the poor sod who's feeling lousy can actually get the help they need, it's not rocket science is it? If you were going to faint would you want to do it on a train carriage floor? Did you read the results of the lab tests on the seats? Granted that was the tube, but if you haven't read them look them up! AFTER eating....!

3) Smash and Dash

Train damage...

Tube train, on way down Bakerloo line. Everyone has to disembark and wait for the next one. And why? Because some moronic tool has decided to swing something at the outside of the train when it pulled into Oxford Circus and they've managed to smash out one of the windows... Seriously? Who's that bored?!
And I missed my train... *grumble* But it meant stopping for a glass of wine... *lack of grumbling* :-D


Give them credit, even when they have to screw your day up by removing service, oftentime it is for amusing reasons which does soften the blow somewhat. And if that doesn't work, I can't think of a single London station that doesn't have a drinking establishment within 500 feet of it's exit, if not on the premises...! That's got to help!