Now today my father in law kindly offered to take the school run off my hands, thereby giving me time to do my own thing and get some writing done, very much appreciated! One thing I did need to do was get my arse round to my friend's place to pick up my portion of our order for oils n' stuff for our wonderful smoking gizmos. No problem, all I had to do was drop by a cash point and then drive the two miles to his, nice and easy yeah? NO! It took me twenty bloody minutes to do a three minute drive!!!
Firstly, the cashpoint stop. There is one right by my mum's so the cunning plan was out of my road, thirty seconds to hers and pick up cash, plus it's on the way. I didn't even make it out of my road before epic stupidity reared it's butt ugly head. There are two lanes to get out of my road, one for left and straight on, one for right, pretty simple. Until some utter dickshit pulls up on the left, no problem so far, but leaves the car's back end sticking so far out it's not so much "parked" as it is ABANDONED!!!! Blocked the whole left lane and it took ages for everyone to creepy past in the right, dickhead!! And he was a taxi driver, even more annoying then! I've attached a pic for sharing of stupidity factor! Aaaargh!
Well I finally got past him, sailed through to my mum's and whacked the car into her parking space, ran to bank and shop and was on my way once more with no issue. "Great," thinks I, "I've left the idiots behind me." Oh no, stupid stupid thing to think, hello jinx you little shit!!
As I drove up to said mates I decided to have a giggle and had decided when I got there I would start shouting through his letterbox that I was there to pick up "the goods" and leave his neighbours thinking he was a drug dealer. Might not sound funny to all, but he would've seen the comedy so all good. ;)
Decided to take the back roads, quieter I figured, until I realised that there's a school on the way and it was school run time... Balls! I figured it'd be slow, but I no idea! I crawled my way past, being considerate and trying to force back the thoughts of carnage at the planks quite happily leading their children through moving traffic. Maybe they'd not bought the Christmas presents yet and figured if they got their kids run over it would save them some money...
Anyway, got to a point where the traffic just ground to a halt, and I don't mean for a minute, I didn't move for like ten minutes!! People were turning round behind me, but as I was about fifty feet from the turning I needed I was determined to stay the course! Finally we got moving and I found out why we had been stuck there for so long. Some twatty fuckstick had PARKED his farkin' BMW in the middle of the road while he walked down to meet his kids at the school gate! No, you didn't read that wrong. Parked, middle of road, twat!!
The school in question has a pretty crap reputation, but now I've worked out the kids aren't at fault at all. If that is the general level of logic applied by the parents how can those kids learn any sort of common sense!!! I mean seriously?! I thought them double width parking outside the gates was bad but at least those ones left one line open for traffic!
THEN he had the fucking gall to start swearing at the people who'd been gridlocked waiting for him as if we were being unreasonable for looking ever so slightly (or in my case monumentally) hacked off at his behaviour. Dude, your kid is screwed! The only actual "looking up" that kid could possibly do towards his dad will likely end the day he's no longer taller than him! Or at least I hope so, or the future is fucked!
Needless to say by the time I did actually get where I was going I was in no mood for puckish behaviour and instead poor mate had to listen to me rant for about five minutes over how retarded the drivers in this town are! Next time sod it, I'm going to pretend I'm live playing Grand Theft Auto and I'm mowing the freaks down!! I can't be the only person who'd have been happy if someone had stolen his bloody Beamer!
Oh tube morons, I miss you!! :/
No comments:
Post a Comment