Move Down...?!

Sooooo there's train trouble tonight, what a shocker... *eye roll* I wanted back to Waterloo so was intending on being on a train around half six anyway, so no biggie when I got back to find delays.

There was a train to my stop on the board but it would've made a sardine can look roomy, and as much as I do like to get home I'm really not so bothered that I'm going to spend a train journey forcibly face planted into the window... So I waited.

Then, luck struck me. Over the sound of my headphones I heard my half past train being called, and it just so happened I was accidentally stood right on the platform where it was! Bonus!!! Well colour me happy I bounced onto the train and got myself comfortably settled in a seat. A seat!!! I mean when it's like this standing room is a luxury so to get a seat was just amazing!

Okay, so the train is now a quarter of an hour late and still shows no sign of leaving but its a start. But all I can hear is "Move down please!!!". Um, where the hell to?!

Most of them have had a shout, realised it's packed and left it, but there's one woman who just doesn't know when to quit!

"Come on, move down!!"
"There's loads of room down there, squeeze up!!"
"We all want to get home you know!!!"

Yeah, we're aware you want to get home, so do the rest of us, but when there's no space then there's no bloody space!! Finally one woman pointed out her daughter was next to her and short so although it looked like space there wasn't any.

Little Miss Charming's response? "I don't give a shit to be honest, just move down!" and she starts banging on the window.

I'm not a psychologist but I'm fairly sure that's not the best way to garner helpful responses from people. Annoyingly she has forced her way into the train and WILL NOT shut up about how she was right about there being space. Would it count as assault if I slung a paper at her head?!

Move down luv, preferably to the next platform! If you got off there would be more space after all and that's what you wanted...!

One For The Boys

Right lads, I want an answer. It's a pretty simple question but one that's bugged me for ages.

When you sit down on the tube why do you have to sit like this...?

I mean seriously guys, you don't have THAT much between your legs so that's not it, and the existence of a bag on the floor seems to have no bearing either. No matter what the circumstances you all seem to sit down looking like you're walking like John Wayne, you've got a real "straddle" going there.

Okay so it may seem like I'm being nosey and it's really none of my business but here's the thing guys - you seem to manage with this method to take up about a seat and a half of leg room leaving us girls squeezed up either in the corner or between two of you!

See, it's really not hard to sit like this so can't you give it a try?

And just as I type this I have moved from one side of the tube carriage to the other to get away from a space invader, a guy has gone and sat next to him and he's reduced the straddle that's driven me out of the seat! Is this an unspoken revolt against women and your way of avoiding offering your seats to women ever is to make the next door seats as uncomfortable as possible for those of the female gender...?!

So basically pack it in! You don't have the world's largest nut sacks and the bags you put down as an excuse can actually fit on your lap, have a look around cos all the girls are managing it!

Bloody Space Invaders!

Optical Illusion? Or Just Plain Wrong..?

I like horses, I know a fair bit about horses, I'm still fairly sure that horses don't bend this way...!

Sunshine Sinners

Well it's a pretty nice day today, all things considered, and a good day to go back to doing my walking at the end of the working day. The downside to this is I won't be on the tube in the evenings, which tends to be where I see most of my daily Sinners, but the big plus side is you see some serious weirdos in Hyde Park!

Though to be fair my main reasons for starting walking again are the exercise and dodging a sweaty, packed underground service at the end of the day. Let's face it, when given the option of sitting in a hot and sweaty tin can on average around a foot from someone's sweaty crotch, or standing within a foot of someone sweaty armpit compared to walking in the sunshine through two of London's most beautiful parks it's really not a tough choice to make is it?!

So the idea is to go back to walking back around three times a week, I wonder how long before I catch one of the crazees on camera... And I wonder how long until someone posts a pic of me online walking back with the caption "Weirdo walks four and a half miles instead of just taking a twenty minute tube..."
I can laugh, bring it on fellow weirdo watchers!!

Sinners Email Goes Live

I love getting comments from people, so I've decided to make it possible for people to send me anything they like, private or public. So to that end my my sinners email is now up and running. For anything you ever want to say, add, share or to send me ideas for posts or photos just drop me a mail, always love to hear from people!

Email is   -   ConfinedSinners@gmail.com

So get mailing people, let's hear what you have to say!

Mini Sinners

Mini list of some sins and sinners that drive me round the twist, and their crimes!

• Go Compare Adverts - Crimes Against Hearing

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!! OMG these are toe curlingly cringing and the song is quite possibly the most annoying thing I have ever heard!!! Apparently the guy who sings in them has had people threaten to beat him up in the street - maybe they have the right idea! JUST STOP!

• Southwest Trains - Crimes Against Timekeeping

Seriously, if you can't run a service on time the second two snowflakes or a single leaf hits the track, QUIT! Sell up, ship out! Monopoly on travel so they have no reason to improve, so let's start setting the train fares based on consumer feedback. Bet they'd perk up their act bloody soon then!

• Sunday Drivers - Crimes Against Sanity

If you can't drive even remotely close to the speed limit, get the hell out of my way! I'm not asking you to all be speed freaks, a few would be nice but hey, but you either need to work out that the pedal on your right makes the car go faster or just stop driving.
And don't even get me started on those idiots who straddle two lanes as they merge into one - there's two lanes for a reason moron!!!

• Weekly Magazines With Models - Crimes Against Reality

Okay, I have never bought one of these and I never will. But I still morally object to a set up which involves taking about three years to collect all the parts, at about ten times the cost of just buying the model and passing themselves off as a money saving great idea. Start actually showing how long the series will run and how much it'll cost in the end and I'll reconsider your place in this list!

• People Who Can't Grasp The Ingredients In A Sprizter - Crimes Against Alcohol

Wine + soda water = spritzer
Wine + lemonade = wine and lemonade

Simple. Got it?! Good!

• Muffin Tops - Crimes Against My Eyes!

This is so simple, and happens all the time when it could so easily be avoided! We'd most of us like to be a little slimmer than we are, god knows I would, but this doesn't mean if you buy a pair of jeans one size too small you'll magically morph into that size. You will, however, ooze over the top of your jeans and traumatise everyone around you. Pack it in, preferably IN CLOTHES THAT FIT YOU!!!

More to follow, and let me know any of your "mini sinners"! x

Commuter Time Kiddies

It's a pretty established fact that I don't approve of children on commuter trains. Though to be fair they're just children acting like what they are, so I suppose my gripe is really with the parents. Well it certainly was yesterday morning!

I arrived early morning in good time, plenty of time to be on my early train and nice and early to the office. Suited me, I was working from home Thursday and Friday last week and some company sounded great!
Train delayed, no time given, just delayed. Dammit. Oh well these things happen, it turned up about fifteen minutes late but seeing as it wasn't a massive delay and I could still get a seat I was happy with the optimistic viewpoint on the world. Then a couple and their young son boarded and ended up standing so the kid was right behind my ear.
Deep joy thinks I, it's going to be a noisy trip...!

iPod on, music playing, I'm as child proofed as I was going to get in those circumstances.

Then it started. The loud, shrill voice, the constant complaining, the whinging about every little thing. If the train jolted slightly there was moaning. If the announcements were too loud there was moaning. And all in that irritating high pitched whining voice.

And that was the mother...

The little boy was dead silent the whole time, beautifully well behaved and very polite when disembarking by saying "excuse me" to all and sundry.

So I'm rethinking my logic. Kids on commuter trains can sometimes be a nightmare, but their mothers are infinitely worse!