We're three days (or nights rather) into the riots and looting in London and I for one am truly disgusted by the behaviour of these "tax paying citizens" who all look suspiciously young to be "getting back our taxes" as stated by one of them in Clapham last night whilst stealing a flatscreen tv...
All through this the police have been a silent and unseen presence, or so the media would have people believe. As fires swept through the capital a terrified cry rose above the noise of sirens and alarms pleading for police assistance and firefighters. And they answered the call, every single one of them, and we should be damn proud of them, I know I am.
Yes there were areas where people felt unprotected but they cannot be everywhere, it's simply impossible, they were massively outnumbered in many areas and quite cynically and simply why would the media report on areas of London where the rioters have been quelled? I doubt it would make as "good" viewing compared to the fear and suffering that could be broadcast from other areas.
And if the police had adopted a more aggressive stance then all we'd be hearing today is about their terrible heavy headed approach and police brutality! They can't win and yet they still stand up to protect us. Maybe some support and gratitude should be in order?
Then there is the social networks which seemed to cover the two extreme opinions from unquestioning support of the looters to utter horror at the degradation of our society. Warmed the heart though to read page after page condemnation for the actions of the reprobates who quite clearly thought everyone would be behind them. Well technically I'd like to be, but I'm not going to jail for the use of garrotte wire on one of those opportunistic leeches!
I spent half the night following the news coverage and trying to contact my family and friends to ensure their safety, and thankfully it would appear those dear to me have come off unscathed.
I was recounted a story last night by a friend who had heard from a good friend us his hiding on her roof because her home was being trashed by these scumbags. How is that protest? Or any statement other than "we do not deserve to be heard"?!
I would truly like to see every single one of those condemning the emergency services being forced off their sofas to kit up and stand shoulder to shoulder with the brave men and women in uniform.
And as for those guilty of the atrocities across London who are caught and charged, if they want a fight then let's let them have one... on the front lines of the war in Afghanistan with the soldiers who've been risking their lives on these "people's" behalf for the last god knows how long.
In the face of Theresa May's assertions that costs can be cut to the force without repercussion she was proven wrong in the most truly spectacular fashion.
This morning though I was proud to be on my way to work as normal. Bomb trains, riot and loot our homes and businesses but Londoners still stand tall and keep going. Not breaking our spirit!
As I head home tonight the fourth day of trouble appears to have started once again with reports of trouble in Wimbledon already filtering through. To the 16,000 police on our streets tonight I say, those I know and those I don't, thank you and please be safe tonight.
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Dear Southwest Trains, Take Two
I think yesterday's epic display of ineptitude calls for another letter I'd love to send to these impressively talented cretins.
Dear Southwest Trains,
We seem to be speaking quite regularly these days don't we? For three years we've had this sort of love/hate relationship where you have disdain for me as your customer and I have apathy for you as my rail provider, but I do think your recent performance is worthy of a second critique.
I tend to catch a half five train, this means I have to leave work bang on five o'clock or I miss it. So it's safe to say I do rush on my way back to Waterloo as you only run two services an hour and the idea of standing around a train station for thirty minutes is, believe it or not, not particularly attractive a prospect. I have nights that I don't make it in time, often due to the tube but those are unavoidable so I don't see the point of being stressed about it.
Last night however I rushed back to Waterloo with a colleague of mine who takes the same train on occasion, she had dinner plans so we forewent our regular Monday walk which pushes our train time back by an hour. Upon arriving we boarded our usual train and after a little deliberation sat in two middle seats facing each other. We did consider standing instead, but thankfully we decided against it.
I say thankfully because not long after sitting down we heard an announcement telling us we would be delayed as there was a problem at Wimbledon. Oh well, we decided to stay put even when we were told this delay was indefinite based on a lack of information provided to the driver of the service. About ten minutes passed and suddenly a huge amount of people from the train on the next platform disembarked and hurriedly boarded the train we were on. I looked askance at one of these "new" passengers and she said they had been informed the train was being diverted and would no longer be stopping at Surbiton, which ours was. Fair enough, total pain for them but at least they had our train to swap to.
I jokingly said to my friend that next thing we'd be told that our train was probably only stopping at Guildford due to rerouting, I didn't realise you were listening for suggestions and putting them into action!
About twenty minutes after the train was due to leave the doors closed and we pulled out of the station, which to me seemed like we'd gotten off lightly, as we had now found out the issue was a fatality at Wimbledon and I'd thought the delay would be much longer. I was, at this point, actually almost impressed with the service you were providing! I really should have known better shouldn't I?
Within about thirty seconds of the train leaving the platform, as in on the move and no longer able to get off from, the driver came on the tanoy to very kindly inform us that this service's first stop would be Weybridge... Seeing as at least fifty percent of the train's occupants were planning on disembarking at Surbiton surely this piece of information would have been significantly more useful to them if you'd shared it prior to leave the station?! All I could hear around my was the sound of people complaining and my friend cancelling her dinner plans.
A few moments later the train pulled into Vauxhall and stopped at one of the platforms. You know even after all the ineptitude you'd shown up to this point I still had an optimistic attitude and assumed you'd open the doors so people who didn't want to go miles out of their way could get off! Yep, wrong again! We sat there for about ten or fifteen minutes while people stared hopefully at the doors willing them to open before getting moving once more. We were rerouted through Teddington, Staines and Egham and just as we were approaching Weybridge there was another announcement. The first stop will now be Byfleet and New Haw. You are joking right?! So you've already pushed people past their desired stop without the option to get off and find an alternative route and now you're taking them even further away?
When the train finally made it to Byfleet and New Haw, bearing in mind we'd been sat on the delightful contraption for around an hour and a half at this point, we had the fun and excitement of having several hundred people get off and need to make their way (in the rain) down an open platform incredibly slowly, under the track and then back up the other side to another open platform in the rain. Thankfully a train pulled in around the time we made it onto the opposite side of the station, but I'm sure you'll understand that this didn't exactly improve our mood towards your inept company by this point! Do you realise that some people were so turned around as to where they were and had been on the train for so long that I heard someone suggest that they thought we were somewhere near Winchester?! That is how little information was provided as to what was going on.
Oh and please let me share with you what the crawl through the underpass was like.
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Does that look fun?! Oh and the correct answer is no, in case you're unsure...!
Cue several hundred people squeezing back onto an already busy train with soaking wet floors which were by this point incredibly slippery and made me very grateful for a pole to grab before I ended up on the floor just to polish off the oh so lovely commute I was experiencing. A couple of stops later I was at my actual desired destination just in time for a delightful walk home in the pouring rain and walking in the door three hours after I left my office.
I do understand that someone going under a train is not your fault, however the way you handled the entire incident was poorly thought out, incredibly inconvenient to a large number of your customers and just generally about the poor level of standard I am learning to expect from you.
Let me guess, no refund?
Dear Southwest Trains,
We seem to be speaking quite regularly these days don't we? For three years we've had this sort of love/hate relationship where you have disdain for me as your customer and I have apathy for you as my rail provider, but I do think your recent performance is worthy of a second critique.
I tend to catch a half five train, this means I have to leave work bang on five o'clock or I miss it. So it's safe to say I do rush on my way back to Waterloo as you only run two services an hour and the idea of standing around a train station for thirty minutes is, believe it or not, not particularly attractive a prospect. I have nights that I don't make it in time, often due to the tube but those are unavoidable so I don't see the point of being stressed about it.
Last night however I rushed back to Waterloo with a colleague of mine who takes the same train on occasion, she had dinner plans so we forewent our regular Monday walk which pushes our train time back by an hour. Upon arriving we boarded our usual train and after a little deliberation sat in two middle seats facing each other. We did consider standing instead, but thankfully we decided against it.
I say thankfully because not long after sitting down we heard an announcement telling us we would be delayed as there was a problem at Wimbledon. Oh well, we decided to stay put even when we were told this delay was indefinite based on a lack of information provided to the driver of the service. About ten minutes passed and suddenly a huge amount of people from the train on the next platform disembarked and hurriedly boarded the train we were on. I looked askance at one of these "new" passengers and she said they had been informed the train was being diverted and would no longer be stopping at Surbiton, which ours was. Fair enough, total pain for them but at least they had our train to swap to.
I jokingly said to my friend that next thing we'd be told that our train was probably only stopping at Guildford due to rerouting, I didn't realise you were listening for suggestions and putting them into action!
About twenty minutes after the train was due to leave the doors closed and we pulled out of the station, which to me seemed like we'd gotten off lightly, as we had now found out the issue was a fatality at Wimbledon and I'd thought the delay would be much longer. I was, at this point, actually almost impressed with the service you were providing! I really should have known better shouldn't I?
Within about thirty seconds of the train leaving the platform, as in on the move and no longer able to get off from, the driver came on the tanoy to very kindly inform us that this service's first stop would be Weybridge... Seeing as at least fifty percent of the train's occupants were planning on disembarking at Surbiton surely this piece of information would have been significantly more useful to them if you'd shared it prior to leave the station?! All I could hear around my was the sound of people complaining and my friend cancelling her dinner plans.
A few moments later the train pulled into Vauxhall and stopped at one of the platforms. You know even after all the ineptitude you'd shown up to this point I still had an optimistic attitude and assumed you'd open the doors so people who didn't want to go miles out of their way could get off! Yep, wrong again! We sat there for about ten or fifteen minutes while people stared hopefully at the doors willing them to open before getting moving once more. We were rerouted through Teddington, Staines and Egham and just as we were approaching Weybridge there was another announcement. The first stop will now be Byfleet and New Haw. You are joking right?! So you've already pushed people past their desired stop without the option to get off and find an alternative route and now you're taking them even further away?
When the train finally made it to Byfleet and New Haw, bearing in mind we'd been sat on the delightful contraption for around an hour and a half at this point, we had the fun and excitement of having several hundred people get off and need to make their way (in the rain) down an open platform incredibly slowly, under the track and then back up the other side to another open platform in the rain. Thankfully a train pulled in around the time we made it onto the opposite side of the station, but I'm sure you'll understand that this didn't exactly improve our mood towards your inept company by this point! Do you realise that some people were so turned around as to where they were and had been on the train for so long that I heard someone suggest that they thought we were somewhere near Winchester?! That is how little information was provided as to what was going on.
Oh and please let me share with you what the crawl through the underpass was like.
Does that look fun?! Oh and the correct answer is no, in case you're unsure...!
Cue several hundred people squeezing back onto an already busy train with soaking wet floors which were by this point incredibly slippery and made me very grateful for a pole to grab before I ended up on the floor just to polish off the oh so lovely commute I was experiencing. A couple of stops later I was at my actual desired destination just in time for a delightful walk home in the pouring rain and walking in the door three hours after I left my office.
I do understand that someone going under a train is not your fault, however the way you handled the entire incident was poorly thought out, incredibly inconvenient to a large number of your customers and just generally about the poor level of standard I am learning to expect from you.
Let me guess, no refund?
Tube Dodger
As part of my diet and exercise kick I've started walking the four miles back to Waterloo three times a week instead of taking the tube. Now this of course has it's positives and negatives as does anything.
The biggest positive, and the reason I'm doing it really, is the exercise side of it. It means that I'm now walking between three and seven miles a day, five days a week. Great exercise and hopefully good for losing weight, oh and toning up your legs!
Negative side, cyclists in Hyde Park are even worse than commuters on the tube! There's nothing much that ranks higher on the embarrassment scale in these circumstances than having to say you were "run over by a Boris bike"... Though I'm pretty sure the people who rent them actually think of them as dodgems. As in they cycle however and wherever they want and you have to dodge 'em..!
Then you have the serious cyclists who spend too much time looking condescendingly at the Boris bike riders and not enough looking where they're going. Seriously they're a bunch of menaces, especially the ones who seem to think nothing of cycling full tilt across a busy pedestrian crossing, because they being cyclists (in their minds) rule supreme and us lowly ambulating heathens should part like the Red Sea before Moses to grant them unimpeded passage. Across the PEDESTRIAN crossing.... from the Latin "pedester"... meaning ON FOOT!!
Then you also have the horses. Now the sheer amount of horseshit in Hyde Park is stunning in it's enormity, but then I see things like these and it just puts a smile on my face!
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| A high up crossing signal just for horses, genius! |
I have to admit, now I'm getting into it I am really enjoying the walk. It's not just the exercise but it reminds me what a beautiful city this is. It's so easy to forget with the craziness and the rush, but it is an amazing place. The architecture alone is just stunning, not even considering the river and the suprisingly large amount of greenery there is.
Plus, I'd miss out on so much entertainment by not being here and doing this walk! As we approached Embankment last week we were confronted by a mini protest, nothing major and barely held us up as it was just the end.
But as we stood waiting to be able to cross Whitehall I heard someone say "Oh I hate it when they do this!!" and turned to find myself confronted by a tall, slim man with floral shorts, wearing an aliceband and a huge amount of blusher... I would love to be able to share a photo but I was so shocked by his appearance I just sort of forgot I have a camera phone and just stared as he stormed into the middle of the road, stuck two fingers up at a police van before stropping off down the street.
Now really, how many places can you watch a tranny having a hissy fit at a van full of coppers in makeup that bright...?!
I love this city!
Saturday, 2 July 2011
The Dangers of Sleep Talking...
This one needs a little back story so here goes.
Recently in a slightly drunken state, read cattled, I decided it would be a fabulous idea to write an email to my father. He and I don't get on and suffice it to say said email was not of the nicest persuasion. I had enough sense however to decide against sending it regardless of alcohol consumption but as some of my phrasings in it had made me giggle to myself I decided to share the amusement with my husband. As I handed him my phone he seemed to forget that iPhone's are touchscreen (I know, I know) and picked it up by the screen, at which point the email vanished off the page. In a total panic over the possibility of this being sent, and with a very sensitive family occasion on the horizon, I switched my phone off, then back on in airplane mode before deleting the email account entirely from the phone. Up until today, I didn't know if it had sent but it had played on my mind to a very large degree.
When I logged on to googlemail this afternoon my laptop automatically decided to log me in to the account in question and I decided that enough was enough and I would bite the bullet and check my sent items. To my great relief there was no sign of the offending article, I breathed a sigh of relief and decided to tell my husband as well so he didn't have to worry about it.
Now, fast forward to tonight.
He's been out this evening watching the boxing at the pub and arrived home around half past one, and in a far more sober state than I had expected, I have to admit! Anyway with a rare show of common sense he decided that the best place for him was bed and duly retired there. About five minutes after he went I remembered about this email and quickly popped my head in to tell him. Our conversation went roughly like this.
Babe are you awake?
Yeah.
Okay, forgot earlier but I meant to tell you I found out that email to my dad never sent.
That's okay, we can always burn the spare shirt.
.... Um, what?
Well that's why we have it, so we can burn the spare shirt.
(laughing) Okay hun, you're asleep so I'll talk to you in the morning.
No, I'm fine. Like I said we'll mince the first half of the cow and the second half of the cow can go in the glove compartment.
(really laughing) Okay, whatever you say... Anyway, you're really asleep so goodnight.
No wait, come back. Why are you laughing?
Can you remember the conversation we just had?
No, not really, something to do with a cow?
Well that's where you went but I was trying to tell you about that email.
See, this is why you love me, and if you're bored later just come in and talk to me!
He has, on the odd occasion, come up with these lovely little moments at night, I think one of my personal favourites was "It doesn't count unless you're towing a dog" though granted I have absolutely no desire to know what he was dreaming about at that point!
So be warned people, if you sleep talk try and cover it up, or else your evil wife might laugh so hard she posts it on the internet...!
Recently in a slightly drunken state, read cattled, I decided it would be a fabulous idea to write an email to my father. He and I don't get on and suffice it to say said email was not of the nicest persuasion. I had enough sense however to decide against sending it regardless of alcohol consumption but as some of my phrasings in it had made me giggle to myself I decided to share the amusement with my husband. As I handed him my phone he seemed to forget that iPhone's are touchscreen (I know, I know) and picked it up by the screen, at which point the email vanished off the page. In a total panic over the possibility of this being sent, and with a very sensitive family occasion on the horizon, I switched my phone off, then back on in airplane mode before deleting the email account entirely from the phone. Up until today, I didn't know if it had sent but it had played on my mind to a very large degree.
When I logged on to googlemail this afternoon my laptop automatically decided to log me in to the account in question and I decided that enough was enough and I would bite the bullet and check my sent items. To my great relief there was no sign of the offending article, I breathed a sigh of relief and decided to tell my husband as well so he didn't have to worry about it.
Now, fast forward to tonight.
He's been out this evening watching the boxing at the pub and arrived home around half past one, and in a far more sober state than I had expected, I have to admit! Anyway with a rare show of common sense he decided that the best place for him was bed and duly retired there. About five minutes after he went I remembered about this email and quickly popped my head in to tell him. Our conversation went roughly like this.
Babe are you awake?
Yeah.
Okay, forgot earlier but I meant to tell you I found out that email to my dad never sent.
That's okay, we can always burn the spare shirt.
.... Um, what?
Well that's why we have it, so we can burn the spare shirt.
(laughing) Okay hun, you're asleep so I'll talk to you in the morning.
No, I'm fine. Like I said we'll mince the first half of the cow and the second half of the cow can go in the glove compartment.
(really laughing) Okay, whatever you say... Anyway, you're really asleep so goodnight.
No wait, come back. Why are you laughing?
Can you remember the conversation we just had?
No, not really, something to do with a cow?
Well that's where you went but I was trying to tell you about that email.
See, this is why you love me, and if you're bored later just come in and talk to me!
He has, on the odd occasion, come up with these lovely little moments at night, I think one of my personal favourites was "It doesn't count unless you're towing a dog" though granted I have absolutely no desire to know what he was dreaming about at that point!
So be warned people, if you sleep talk try and cover it up, or else your evil wife might laugh so hard she posts it on the internet...!
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Back To Basics
Well since my good intentions in January the weight loss plan hasn't exactly gone according to, well, plan! So as of this week, things they are a-changin'!
I'm back to walking, every day and both ways so that's now over three miles a day, and I can't be doing with this meandering slow walking that people seem to do so it's a pretty fast walk. Speaking of, why do people walk at the speed of a crippled snail? If you're walking, chances are you're going somewhere in particular, and if you're going somewhere specific then how about a little more forward mobility to get you there?
There's something good about doing the walk to be honest, it wakes me up and it does give you that lovely smug feeling because you've done some exercise. The down side to it, well I could be experiencing that this evening... The down side is I will not take a bus at all now, so I will be walking home come rain or shine. At the moment this'd be rain, and I'm wearing a vest top and a denim jacket... I predict drowned rat chic by the time I walk in the front door! Such a good look for me!
As for diet, yes I'm back on that kick too. And actually doing pretty well. Largely eating eggs, lean meats, fruit and raw veg, and I am so glad that I actually like vegetables otherwise this would be killing me! Someone at work did give me a diet plan that is supposed to make you lose up to 14 pounds in a week, but to be honest for one thing I think losing that much that fast isn't the best idea but also I suck at being told exactly what to eat and when. It's exactly why I never sign up to diet plans or groups, Slimming World sounds great but if I want meat I don't care if I'm supposed to be on a "green day". And as for Weightwatchers I just inherently object to paying five pounds a week for someone I don't know to weigh me and give me judgemental glances.
Now before anyone gets up in arms can I just point out that I know both these, and other, plans work for a lot of people. But I just do not have the right temperament to be restricted like that!
So we'll see. This logic should save money and help me lose weight, wonder how long I'll be able to ignore the siren call of KFC though....
I'm back to walking, every day and both ways so that's now over three miles a day, and I can't be doing with this meandering slow walking that people seem to do so it's a pretty fast walk. Speaking of, why do people walk at the speed of a crippled snail? If you're walking, chances are you're going somewhere in particular, and if you're going somewhere specific then how about a little more forward mobility to get you there?
There's something good about doing the walk to be honest, it wakes me up and it does give you that lovely smug feeling because you've done some exercise. The down side to it, well I could be experiencing that this evening... The down side is I will not take a bus at all now, so I will be walking home come rain or shine. At the moment this'd be rain, and I'm wearing a vest top and a denim jacket... I predict drowned rat chic by the time I walk in the front door! Such a good look for me!
As for diet, yes I'm back on that kick too. And actually doing pretty well. Largely eating eggs, lean meats, fruit and raw veg, and I am so glad that I actually like vegetables otherwise this would be killing me! Someone at work did give me a diet plan that is supposed to make you lose up to 14 pounds in a week, but to be honest for one thing I think losing that much that fast isn't the best idea but also I suck at being told exactly what to eat and when. It's exactly why I never sign up to diet plans or groups, Slimming World sounds great but if I want meat I don't care if I'm supposed to be on a "green day". And as for Weightwatchers I just inherently object to paying five pounds a week for someone I don't know to weigh me and give me judgemental glances.
Now before anyone gets up in arms can I just point out that I know both these, and other, plans work for a lot of people. But I just do not have the right temperament to be restricted like that!
So we'll see. This logic should save money and help me lose weight, wonder how long I'll be able to ignore the siren call of KFC though....
Dear Southwest Trains
You have recently been the cause of some really amusing days for me, so I thought I would write to share with you my abject glee at the service which you have been providing.
About two weeks ago, on a lovely Monday evening, after working late and being rather tired I arrived back at Waterloo in order to catch my evening train home to the peace, quiet and relaxation of my sofa and/or bed. Imagine my disappointment to read on the departure boards that NOTHING was leaving Waterloo at all. This was replaced by a sense of utter relief when the board was amended to state a train was leaving in the next ten minutes that was stopping at my stop.
In order to avoid the stampede that followed this announcement on the main concourse I decided to be a little sneaky and enter the closest platform in order to go down into the passageways that I could use to shortcut to the relevant platform. Unfortunately, it would appears around a thousand people had exactly the same idea so I'm unsure as to whether this decision helped or hindered my attempt to scramble onto the waiting train.
Upon my arrival on the correct platform I instantly dismissed the train as a waste of time, you could not have fitted an additional hobbit on the train with the careful application of crowbars. In fact I'd go so far as to say it made sardine tins, those of the anecdotal variety, look positively roomy! All of this combined led me to walk rather morosely back from the platform and to return to the departure boards on the concourse to find that the situation had returned to normal and there was STILL nothing at all leaving Waterloo, I'm sure you can imagine my barely contained joy!
At this point I decided that, to be perfectly honest, I wanted a cigarette. You wouldn't have known this at the time, but I am actually trying to quit smoking. I do have the occasional smoke, however this is the first time in quite some months I have actually gone so far as to agree to pay the insane Waterloo price of eight pounds (seriously?!?!?!!!!) for a packet of smokes and of course the further outlay for a lighter, given that I can't really believe my sunny disposition at this time would have been improved by the possession of cigarettes but no means to light them. Upon settling myself outside I overheard another passenger asking a member of staff about trains back to the town in which I live and so I involved myself in this conversation. The staff member, although very polite and sympathetic, basically informed us that at the moment there was nothing doing due to signal failures at three points on the line, but he was unsure as to how long this disruption would last. As I had gotten talking to the other passenger stuck there as well we decided that instead of standing around bored and solo we would go to the basement pub and join each other in a glass of wine.
So, my dear train managers, so far in one evening you have driven a thirty year old woman to drinking and smoking, are you proud of yourselves yet? Don't worry if you're not, we're not quite done yet.
At half past ten that evening, so after I had been sat waiting for your train services for four and a half hours at that point, we asked for the final time as to whether or not we were going to be able to get a train. This time, and yes we had been asking quite regularly, the answer was amended from "Hopefully but we don't know when" to "You'll be lucky, I'd make other arrangements!". This made the lovely fact dawn on me that I was stuck in the middle of London, trying to get to Surrey and unable to get any closer than Vauxhall by the sound of things! Right well, did you have any suggestions?
A black cab you say? Well yes that would work, are you going to pay the ninety odd pounds it would cost? No? Okay, anything else?
A night bus. Great plan, if I lived in London! Are you actually listening to me?!
Could my husband come and pick me up? Funnily enough with a small child to consider, NO!
A hotel, oh yes of course, and again will you be paying? No? Well that's unlikely then isn't it?
Thankfully, for me, my brother and his wife live in London. So I phoned him and he very kindly agreed to put me up for the night on their living room floor. Whilst this was massively appreciated it wasn't exactly my ideal, and there is just something lovely about going to work the next day in the same clothes. I mean nothing else really can quite recreate that ick factor or make you feel quite so scuzzy for an entire day. Can I suggest that you try it sometime? I'm sure you'll just love it!
So after this stellar performance on the Monday I was sure you'd be doing everything in your power to ensure a calm and easy rest of the week. Hence my confusion when there followed massive delays on the Thursday night, which to be fair I was lucky enough to avoid but only just by the sounds of it! Now you see, I've also been told that the same thing happened on the Friday.
Could you please explain to me that out of five working days, you manage to completey screw up three? Have you heard of customer satisfaction? Really, because lately your company does not appear to provide any!
I did like the story in the paper about how Southwest Trains would be paying compensation to those stuck on the Thursday night trains for four hours. I'm curious though, how about those of us who couldn't get home AT ALL on the Monday? Or do we not count?
Just to round off the super crush I'm developing on you off the back of your just superb service in the last couple of weeks I managed to accidentally leave my annual travelcard at home one morning last week. I obviously went and purchased a one day card and made my way to work, after picking up a form to request a refund. When given said form I was very peevishly questioned as follows -
SWT Employee - Have you left your travelcard at home before?
Me - No, I'm usually pretty good at remembering it.
SWT Employee - What is going on this morning, you're like the fifth person in ten minutes who's said the same?!
Me - I don't know, and to be honest I really need to make the next train so I'm not that interested.
SWT Employee - Well if this is the first time you've done it fill this form in and you can get a refund, if it's the second time we'll charge a fee for the refund and after that you get nothing back.
Okaaaaaaay, can anyone else see something a bit odd here? I pay around two and a half thousand pounds a year for the travelcard that grants me the right to stand uncomfortably on a crowded train/tube/bus every day but if I forget my card more than twice then I have to pay again for a service I have already paid above and beyond the sane amount for?! Do you realise it's almost twenty quid for a one day travelcard from my stop? Do you not maybe think you're being a little unfair on that basis?!
Hey but don't worry, next time you cancel all the trains or fail to provide the service that I have paid in advance for, I won't be holding my breath for you to refund me for that day's travel. After all, it's not like we pay much or have like no other choice of transport method...
About two weeks ago, on a lovely Monday evening, after working late and being rather tired I arrived back at Waterloo in order to catch my evening train home to the peace, quiet and relaxation of my sofa and/or bed. Imagine my disappointment to read on the departure boards that NOTHING was leaving Waterloo at all. This was replaced by a sense of utter relief when the board was amended to state a train was leaving in the next ten minutes that was stopping at my stop.
In order to avoid the stampede that followed this announcement on the main concourse I decided to be a little sneaky and enter the closest platform in order to go down into the passageways that I could use to shortcut to the relevant platform. Unfortunately, it would appears around a thousand people had exactly the same idea so I'm unsure as to whether this decision helped or hindered my attempt to scramble onto the waiting train.
Upon my arrival on the correct platform I instantly dismissed the train as a waste of time, you could not have fitted an additional hobbit on the train with the careful application of crowbars. In fact I'd go so far as to say it made sardine tins, those of the anecdotal variety, look positively roomy! All of this combined led me to walk rather morosely back from the platform and to return to the departure boards on the concourse to find that the situation had returned to normal and there was STILL nothing at all leaving Waterloo, I'm sure you can imagine my barely contained joy!
At this point I decided that, to be perfectly honest, I wanted a cigarette. You wouldn't have known this at the time, but I am actually trying to quit smoking. I do have the occasional smoke, however this is the first time in quite some months I have actually gone so far as to agree to pay the insane Waterloo price of eight pounds (seriously?!?!?!!!!) for a packet of smokes and of course the further outlay for a lighter, given that I can't really believe my sunny disposition at this time would have been improved by the possession of cigarettes but no means to light them. Upon settling myself outside I overheard another passenger asking a member of staff about trains back to the town in which I live and so I involved myself in this conversation. The staff member, although very polite and sympathetic, basically informed us that at the moment there was nothing doing due to signal failures at three points on the line, but he was unsure as to how long this disruption would last. As I had gotten talking to the other passenger stuck there as well we decided that instead of standing around bored and solo we would go to the basement pub and join each other in a glass of wine.
So, my dear train managers, so far in one evening you have driven a thirty year old woman to drinking and smoking, are you proud of yourselves yet? Don't worry if you're not, we're not quite done yet.
At half past ten that evening, so after I had been sat waiting for your train services for four and a half hours at that point, we asked for the final time as to whether or not we were going to be able to get a train. This time, and yes we had been asking quite regularly, the answer was amended from "Hopefully but we don't know when" to "You'll be lucky, I'd make other arrangements!". This made the lovely fact dawn on me that I was stuck in the middle of London, trying to get to Surrey and unable to get any closer than Vauxhall by the sound of things! Right well, did you have any suggestions?
A black cab you say? Well yes that would work, are you going to pay the ninety odd pounds it would cost? No? Okay, anything else?
A night bus. Great plan, if I lived in London! Are you actually listening to me?!
Could my husband come and pick me up? Funnily enough with a small child to consider, NO!
A hotel, oh yes of course, and again will you be paying? No? Well that's unlikely then isn't it?
Thankfully, for me, my brother and his wife live in London. So I phoned him and he very kindly agreed to put me up for the night on their living room floor. Whilst this was massively appreciated it wasn't exactly my ideal, and there is just something lovely about going to work the next day in the same clothes. I mean nothing else really can quite recreate that ick factor or make you feel quite so scuzzy for an entire day. Can I suggest that you try it sometime? I'm sure you'll just love it!
So after this stellar performance on the Monday I was sure you'd be doing everything in your power to ensure a calm and easy rest of the week. Hence my confusion when there followed massive delays on the Thursday night, which to be fair I was lucky enough to avoid but only just by the sounds of it! Now you see, I've also been told that the same thing happened on the Friday.
Could you please explain to me that out of five working days, you manage to completey screw up three? Have you heard of customer satisfaction? Really, because lately your company does not appear to provide any!
I did like the story in the paper about how Southwest Trains would be paying compensation to those stuck on the Thursday night trains for four hours. I'm curious though, how about those of us who couldn't get home AT ALL on the Monday? Or do we not count?
Just to round off the super crush I'm developing on you off the back of your just superb service in the last couple of weeks I managed to accidentally leave my annual travelcard at home one morning last week. I obviously went and purchased a one day card and made my way to work, after picking up a form to request a refund. When given said form I was very peevishly questioned as follows -
SWT Employee - Have you left your travelcard at home before?
Me - No, I'm usually pretty good at remembering it.
SWT Employee - What is going on this morning, you're like the fifth person in ten minutes who's said the same?!
Me - I don't know, and to be honest I really need to make the next train so I'm not that interested.
SWT Employee - Well if this is the first time you've done it fill this form in and you can get a refund, if it's the second time we'll charge a fee for the refund and after that you get nothing back.
Okaaaaaaay, can anyone else see something a bit odd here? I pay around two and a half thousand pounds a year for the travelcard that grants me the right to stand uncomfortably on a crowded train/tube/bus every day but if I forget my card more than twice then I have to pay again for a service I have already paid above and beyond the sane amount for?! Do you realise it's almost twenty quid for a one day travelcard from my stop? Do you not maybe think you're being a little unfair on that basis?!
Hey but don't worry, next time you cancel all the trains or fail to provide the service that I have paid in advance for, I won't be holding my breath for you to refund me for that day's travel. After all, it's not like we pay much or have like no other choice of transport method...
Saturday, 18 June 2011
Find The Gap
It's a funny thing, walking through a crowded railway station at rush hour. If you've not done it before, or you're on the outside looking in it almost seems impossible to comprehend picking your way through the surging mass in front of you.
People stop with no warning, change course unpredictably, have those stupid little suitcases that we all know I love soooooooo much and we mustn't forget that annoying moment where both people heading towards each other dodge and you end up crashing into each other. For the first week or so I was doing my London commute I think I said sorry at least fifty times a day and arrived at work and home each way feeling like I'd just played a real live game of dodgems or a mass scale game of chicken and lost...
Finally, I worked it out. It's all about finding the gap. When someone looks at the rush hour in Waterloo they see the mass throng of people, I now see the spaces between them and almost forget the people themselves are there. It turns into a dance of sorts. You duck and dive, weave and dodge, you learn pretty fast to judge people's speed and work out whether you can get somewhere before they do.
Maybe it should be treated like driving, have training and a test at the end before you're allowed loose on the general population. You could have a theory test with questions like -
And finally, when you've passed all these tests you will be a certfied Crowd Weaver and be allowed to commute alone. There, one problem of the commuter fixed, now if I could only come up with a way to take care of the bloody tourists and holidaymakers....
People stop with no warning, change course unpredictably, have those stupid little suitcases that we all know I love soooooooo much and we mustn't forget that annoying moment where both people heading towards each other dodge and you end up crashing into each other. For the first week or so I was doing my London commute I think I said sorry at least fifty times a day and arrived at work and home each way feeling like I'd just played a real live game of dodgems or a mass scale game of chicken and lost...
Finally, I worked it out. It's all about finding the gap. When someone looks at the rush hour in Waterloo they see the mass throng of people, I now see the spaces between them and almost forget the people themselves are there. It turns into a dance of sorts. You duck and dive, weave and dodge, you learn pretty fast to judge people's speed and work out whether you can get somewhere before they do.
Maybe it should be treated like driving, have training and a test at the end before you're allowed loose on the general population. You could have a theory test with questions like -
- You're moving towards the stairs to the underground and your mobile rings. Do you (a) stop dead at the top of the stairs, (b) answer the phone on the move and then talk louder and louder about unexpectedly losing signal as you descend underground... or (c) get the hell out of everyone else's way and have your conversation?
- For some reason your ticket is rejected by one of the ticket barriers. Do you (a) stand there repeatedly putting your ticket through while it repeatedly refuses you access, (b) start hollering for someone to let you through whilst remaining where you're standing blocking the barrier or (c) get out the way, find the barrier guard and ask them to let you through?
- The signs as you come through the underground exits read "Keep Left". Do you (a) keep left, (b)ignore the signs and walk down the right hand side thereby getting in everyone's way or (c) walk wherever you feel like it but making sure it's really slowly so as to annoy and hold up as many people as possible?
And finally, when you've passed all these tests you will be a certfied Crowd Weaver and be allowed to commute alone. There, one problem of the commuter fixed, now if I could only come up with a way to take care of the bloody tourists and holidaymakers....
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